Kids say funny stuff. All the time.
But sometimes I am left with my jaw hanging open in a stunned circle as I try to comprehend not only where the sentence came from, but what it means.
Two days ago The Tackler spouted this sentence multiple times, the phrase resembling something Confucius or a cheap fortune cookie might say.
“If a hair bumps a shark, it turns into syrup.”
Could someone please tell me what this means?
The more outlandish the better.
And add any spouts of wisdom your child shared with you.
Dances with Chaos 
I’d never thought of it that way, but, yeah, I guess that’s true. Wait: does the hair or the shark turn into syrup?
Wait… what?
I’d always thought it was the hair, but given The Tackler’s confusing pronoun usage, it could go either way.
Now I have to ponder on this some more.
Sounds like this could be a very messy problem. Perhaps he meant hare?
We rarely use “hare” unless reading Goodnight Moon, but it is possible.
Of course, it raises an entirely new set of questions.
Hair. Definitely hair.
Probably mine.
I think there must be a deeper meaning here…maybe he’s trying to say “if Lil’ Diva touches me one more time she’s going to get it.” 😉
Hilarious.
That is entirely possible.
He is sneaky like that.
That’s easy, Kelly! See, “hair” here is a stand-in for “something that doesn’t belong,” because I’m pretty sure he doesn’t comprehend sea mammals. There’s no way that hair gets into the water to bump a shark naturally.
Bump can mean any number of things – but, it’s obvious to this commeter that “bump” means tackle.
Shark means something that bites.
Syrup is yummy.
Henceforth – if the one who doesn’t belong goes where he doesn’t belong and chooses to tackle someone with teeth, he gets a yummy reward. Therefore, the Tackler must tackle Lil’ Diva the next time the three of you are in a women’s public restroom. If he does this, he’ll get rewarded SO HEAVILY with sweets that it will appear that syrup is dripping from his pores.
QED
Oh John.
My fuzzy brain had to read this three times and I found myself giggling each time.
Now that I’m slightly more awake it is even more amusing.
Also? You seem to understand my son to a T…..
Who cares what it means?
Syrup is delicious.
XO
I have tried to hide the sticky deliciousness that is syrup from my children as long as possible.
They eat their breakfast Eggos completely dry.
But upon occasion he has indulged, but he used to call it “sauce”.
I love this. Hold onto these moments. Soon Tackler will be like my Monkey. Speaking in tongues about computers and code and you will find yourself blinking and smiling and pretending to look like you understand what he is talking about. But you won’t. You won’t.
I already do a lot of blinking at my husband.
I’m having a hard enough time understanding the leaps The Tackler’s mind makes at 4.5…
I have no idea…but he is funny!!!!!
I like to tell my kids “you are so cute, I’m gonna eat your face”
To which Gio answered a few days ago: “Mommy you can’t eat our faces. We’re children not food.”. Smart little guy that one. 😉
I can hear the matter-of-fact tone Gio used.
My son has corrected about things like that too, but never face-eating.
Tummy-devouring perhaps.
I’m not sure…but I wonder if it is related to the hissy fit the Climber had yesterday. He came screeching up to show me a hair (mine) stuck to his tiny syrup-sticky fingers. At the time I thought the fit was a little over-dramatic for the given situation…however this clueless Mommy might have missed an obvious threat of sharkery.
Reading this makes me wonder if there is a real relation between hair, syrup, and sharks…
Is there a secret club for toddlers which hides the secret of the hair syrup shark?
If so, why isn’t in “what to expect”? Shouldn’t they have spies to collect such information?
Thanks for the giggle…
Maybe he believes he is a superhero with special super hair powers to turn sharks and other bad guys into syrup?
Dude. That would be, like, totally awesome.
Forget the whole super strength. Bring on the syrup. And pancakes.
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