About Me

The Cast

Me: Kelly, aka The Mommy, aka Jedi Master

My husband: CG, aka Computer God aka The Daddy

My son: The Tackler, aka The Boy

My daughter: Lil’ Diva, aka Angel Kiss aka The Banshee

13 Random Facts About Me

1. My characters were murdered in every play I performed in my college theatre.

My children nearly required restraints to sit still long enough to snap this photo - Halloween trick-or-treating 2011

2. I love Halloween more as a mother of two young children than I did as a child.

3. I have an addiction to Duncan Hines brownies-from-a-box but hate chocolate ice cream.

4. I joined the women’s hockey team in college before I knew how to stop on hockey skates.

5.  My food orders in restaurants make Meg Ryan’s in When Harry Met Sally look low maintenance.

6.  I turned into a gym junkie as a side effect of trying losing baby weight.

7.  Zombies scare the s**t out of me -unless they are performing Thriller.

8.  After admitting stay-at-home-parent failure, I decided to change and did a complete 180. I’m now channeling Pioneer Woman and cooking “real” meals from scratch.

I predict this ends when the temperature passes 90 degrees again. In March.

9.  I am blessed with an unnatural immunity to stomach viruses. I clean up a lot of puke.

10.  I suffer from odontophobia: dentists terrify me.

11.  I should have a warning label: “Never quote The Princess Bride or Spaceballs around me.” – Once I start, I cannot stop.

12.  All I ever wanted to be was a mother. Now I constantly wonder why I ever thought I’d be an awesome one.

13.  I believe my two children are simultaneously the most imaginative, creative, frustrating, stubborn, sweet, deaf, hilarious, loud, and snuggly offspring possible.

I wouldn’t change a thing.

Except for the whole “kids don’t listen” thing.

Maybe include a mute button.

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If you’re looking for a taste of what this blog is like, here are some of the more popular posts depending on what your mood is:

** The Funny: Top 10 Lists**

 The one where I talk about the Top 10 Insane Reasons to Want A(nother) Baby.

The one explaining the Top 10 signs you have Mommy ADD aka “Mommy Brain”.

The one about the Top 10 things you should know before becoming a parent.

The one with the Top 10 Activities for “Vacation Detoxification” for my children after visiting my family.

The one about the Top 10 “perks” to having a sick toddler.

The one with the Top 10 things you should never say to a stay-at-home parent.

** The Sappy **

The one where I write a letter to my daughter.

The one where I write a letter to my son.

The one where I become gelatinous goo.

The one where I share the secret to the fountain of youth.

** The Educational **

The one where I inform you it isn’t just about breasts anymore.

The one where I talk about how depression taints all emotions and how it nearly killed my friend.

The one where I talk about online friends and how your significant other doesn’t “get” why they are real and not imaginary.

The one where I share embarrassing photos and a peek into my 13-year-old self.

** The Adorable **

The one explaining the size of your Piston Cup matters and how to befriend sprinkles.

The one where my son tries to devour his little sister.

** The Stuff No One Talks About **

The one where I explain the parenting hell that is Poopapalooza.

** The “Thank God it happened to you and not me” humor **

The ones where Murphy attacks :

• via my daughter on a plane ride.
• via my refrigerator.
• via when my daughter is too quiet.
• via when I have to play the lottery.
• via The Evil Cough.

You can also find me at my other blogs…..

… writing fiction and memoir at Writing with Chaos.

… sharing tales of strength from myself and others at I Survived the Mean Girls.

… and eventually explaining recipes at least one of my children will eat at Cooking with Chaos.