Confucius Tackler Says….

Kids say funny stuff. All the time.

But sometimes I am left with my jaw hanging open in a stunned circle as I try to comprehend not only where the sentence came from, but what it means.

Two days ago The Tackler spouted this sentence multiple times, the phrase resembling something Confucius or a cheap fortune cookie might say.

“If a hair bumps a shark, it turns into syrup.”

Could someone please tell me what this means?

The more outlandish the better.

And add any spouts of wisdom your child shared with you.

About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos ( sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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20 Responses to Confucius Tackler Says….

  1. I’d never thought of it that way, but, yeah, I guess that’s true. Wait: does the hair or the shark turn into syrup?

  2. Kim Woehl says:

    Sounds like this could be a very messy problem. Perhaps he meant hare?

  3. Annie says:

    I think there must be a deeper meaning here…maybe he’s trying to say “if Lil’ Diva touches me one more time she’s going to get it.” 😉


  4. John says:

    That’s easy, Kelly! See, “hair” here is a stand-in for “something that doesn’t belong,” because I’m pretty sure he doesn’t comprehend sea mammals. There’s no way that hair gets into the water to bump a shark naturally.

    Bump can mean any number of things – but, it’s obvious to this commeter that “bump” means tackle.

    Shark means something that bites.

    Syrup is yummy.

    Henceforth – if the one who doesn’t belong goes where he doesn’t belong and chooses to tackle someone with teeth, he gets a yummy reward. Therefore, the Tackler must tackle Lil’ Diva the next time the three of you are in a women’s public restroom. If he does this, he’ll get rewarded SO HEAVILY with sweets that it will appear that syrup is dripping from his pores.


  5. Who cares what it means?

    Syrup is delicious.


  6. I love this. Hold onto these moments. Soon Tackler will be like my Monkey. Speaking in tongues about computers and code and you will find yourself blinking and smiling and pretending to look like you understand what he is talking about. But you won’t. You won’t.

  7. TheKirCorner says:

    I have no idea…but he is funny!!!!!

    I like to tell my kids “you are so cute, I’m gonna eat your face”

    To which Gio answered a few days ago: “Mommy you can’t eat our faces. We’re children not food.”. Smart little guy that one. 😉

  8. Sparky says:

    I’m not sure…but I wonder if it is related to the hissy fit the Climber had yesterday. He came screeching up to show me a hair (mine) stuck to his tiny syrup-sticky fingers. At the time I thought the fit was a little over-dramatic for the given situation…however this clueless Mommy might have missed an obvious threat of sharkery.

    Reading this makes me wonder if there is a real relation between hair, syrup, and sharks…

  9. Maybe he believes he is a superhero with special super hair powers to turn sharks and other bad guys into syrup?

  10. Pingback: Quote of the Day: Confucius « weareliterarycritics

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