The Real Life of a Housewife – Episode 1: Always verify bathroom door is shut

In case you didn’t know, being a stay at home parent is hard.

Let me put it into perspective for the I Don’t Have Any Kids people: At 9:41 PM on Wednesday night – other than a quick 23 minute break while my Lil Diva took a too short nap today – it was the first time I’ve sat down to relax since 8 AM. That’s a 13 hour shift with a 23 minute break.

Imagine having an employer who only allowed you 23 minutes every 13 hours of work, no sick days, no days off, random unscheduled night shifts, and then topped it off by not paying you any money, just in hugs, kisses, barf, poop, drool, giggles and lots of screaming – not necessarily in that order.

That is the life of a stay at home parent.

While I still lament the day my son gave up his nap, I am making every attempt to “Look on the Brightside So I Don’t Lose It” by following three simple steps:

  1. Discover latest Incident.
  2. Do not cry/yell/run out of house screaming; Instead, grab the camera and take a photo (if an option).
  3. Blog about said incident.

For example: Wednesday morning.

As I prepared the Lunch of Champions – a peanut butter and jelly sandwich – for my son, my dear daughter noticed the bathroom door was ajar.

You know where this is going, don’t you?

What you can't see: the half a roll INSIDE the toilet.

I, upon noticing how quiet the room had become, bolted for the bathroom.

And found this —->

And I asked myself the question: How does she know when I’ve just put a new roll on????

Then I grabbed the camera.

I really need to put an alarm of some sort on that door…. or on the toilet paper roll.

Just as soon as I get a minute.

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About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos (www.writingwithchaos.com) sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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17 Responses to The Real Life of a Housewife – Episode 1: Always verify bathroom door is shut

  1. Ugh! It will get easier, I promise. 🙂

  2. My son went through a phase where he threw EVERYTHING in the toilet! Toys, hand towels, you name it. Now that he’s potty training he thinks the toilet paper is very cool and loves to put as much in as he can. Time to buy a plunger!

    Good luck!!
    Ashley from The Motherboard

    • Oh my.. I supposed I should be thankful only toilet paper is currently used.

      We’ve had some toilet issues thanks to my son’s excessive use of wipes now that he’s finally potty trained. My plunger has been utilized a lot thanks to that. Now I just need to buy one for each bathroom.

      Thanks for reading and commenting!

  3. fnkybee says:

    Awesome. And soooo true. When I first took a crap (too much info?) or shower by myself it was like heaven.
    My favorite was when Polly Pocket got sucked down the bathroom drain into the abyss..bye bye Polly!

  4. Paige Morgan says:

    Kelly, I am not being funny when I say grabbing a camera is genious! It really is a great way to stay light-hearted about all the destruction and messes. Thank you, I may survive another day!

    • My new “grab a camera” philosophy (then blog about it) has proved quite successful in preventing me from having an apoplexy. I just wish I didn’t have to use it so often.. :p See double “frak” posts today for explanation.

  5. Leigh Ann says:

    Oh yes. Bathroom door is ALWAYS closed. Always.

    You will probably really like the blog series I am going to start posting soon on steps I am taking to restore my sanity. The baby napped a little today, but not the twins, so Toy Story is saving my butt right now. But alas it’s almost over…

  6. Pingback: The Bad News Versus the Good News: What the frak happened now?? | Dances with Chaos

  7. D.Rene. says:

    What an ingenius approach! I only wish I knew to do this when my babies were babies. Good for you!

  8. jennifer121 says:

    Love this! I call my bathroom time the public arena now – if I lock the door they rattle the knob, pound and scream for me. I have more toys than room in my bathtub. My house looks like it throws up. But we move forward – love the picture idea – I write about it so I don’t forget when they are grown up and away and I am missing the times when they are little. I never want to forget it – a sense of humor goes a long, long way!!!

    • I have found just in the few years between Tackler and Lil Diva I have already forgotten so much – recalled only when Lil Diva does something just like the Tackler used to do. So now I blog to remember all the little things that my Mommy Brain just can’t hold on to.

      Also, blogging is better than therapy. And much cheaper.

      The picture idea has helped me through a lot of messes – reigning in my temper before it exploded. I’m still working on a photo solution to laughing about messes too disgusting to photograph – so far sticking to writing about those in a humorous way.

      My bathroom also rivals Grand Central Station for traffic.

      Thank you for stopping by and checking out my blog!

  9. MamaRobinJ says:

    Oh, I love this approach. I need to do that! It would save me some major freak outs, for sure.

    Also, I know exactly how that feels. Every.time.

  10. Pingback: Desperately Seeking Quietus Spell | Dances with Chaos

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