Mommy Free Time – The Ultimate Oxymoron

Friday’s “What the frak…?” moment (WTFM) is brought to you by………..

Mommy “Free” Time: It is neither free nor consisting of much time. In fact, it can cost a lot…

It is no secret how I have looked forward to both children attending Mother’s Day Out. In theory, I have four hours (three and a half once you count drive time and pick-up lines) to myself to relax.

I dreamed of all the writing time open to me.

Talk about a “what the frak” eye opener.

All mothers who have been here before are laughing maniacally.

So is Murphy.

I find I have even less time with my children away. Why?

Because I suddenly have the opportunity to attempt my Things To Do When My Children Aren’t Around List.

And after four and half years, it’s really frakking long.

I feel obligated to at least shorten the list before I enjoy “me” time.

So what did I do Tuesday?

As I drove away from their school to run two errands, I remembered Item #431 on the list: Go shopping.

As any parent will tell you, this is by far one of the most difficult tasks to do with two children, particularly those who have no compunctions about running rampant and destroying the store.

So I shopped. For over three hours, leaving barely enough time to run my two errands.

Leaving the household massive re-organization planned completely untouched.

This time was not “free” by any means, even if you didn’t count the cost of my kid’s MDO program.

I tried on clothes, something impossible with even one of my children in attendance. I found a shirt, a skirt, and a pair of jeans that actually fit.

I found not one, but three handbags – each for a different purpose.

Those who know me are saying “what the frak, Kelly!”

Why?

My favorite (and smallest) of the three bags.

Because I am not a “purse” person.

I never have been.

I used the college plastic bus pass holder as a wallet until all ten of them fell apart.

My old purse? Twenty years old and given to me in high school (ok, I’m not that old, right?).

After the bus pass wallets died, I had a briefcase bag, which held everything for my job.

Then I had children, and everything went into a diaper bag.

But the diaper bag isn’t always with me now – if I’m out without Lil Diva.

And my old purse was dying.

So I have three now.

And wallets.

And a couple of shirts and piles of pants for both kids, because they only had about two apiece that fit for when it’s no longer 100 degrees.

All from uninterrupted shopping time.

But the really cool secret?

I spent under $100 on everything.

Shh… don’t tell.

After splurging on Item #431 on Tuesday, I felt obligated to knock out a few things in the top ten on Thursday – my time greatly shortened because of Zumba class.

I vowed I would get CG’s vehicle registration done, because it was sort of due last month and he can’t get it inspected until we have valid registration.

I planned to zip to the office before Zumba.

I turned to head there and figured I would double check to make sure I had a copy of the insurance in my car. It had been there before our trip, but CG had cleaned the car.

There was one card. From 2010.

Luckily, I’d strategically pulled over in the parking lot right next to my insurance agent. A quick three minutes and I had a copy of my current one.

I patted myself on the back for my brilliance.

I fought traffic to the office and it sucked ten minutes. I was delighted to see the parking lot wasn’t busy.

As I tried to open the door, I found out why.

A white sign taped to the door read:

Thursday September 15th – Cedar Park and Taylor tax offices closed to the public for staff training. All other offices open regular business hours.

What. The. Frak.

I struggled to hold onto Mommy Zen, because the one thing I didn’t have time to do was check their website before I left the house. I was so frustrated I didn’t take a picture of it. Or of the huge fold out sign in front of the doors which I’d completely missed because I parked on the side.

I was already bolting off to the bank to close my accounts for Item #3.

Free mommy time indeed….

What do you do during your “free” parenting time? Is there such a thing?

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Also, don’t forget to link up over HERE with your Pay it Forward Challenge post.

I don’t care if it’s a single paragraph saying you didn’t yell at your kids when they painted the walls with your make up.

I will be visiting every link up. Please pass it on to anyone who might have missed it!