When I gave my daughter the nickname Lil Diva, it was because at a very young age she demonstrated a natural talent for turning on the drama.
My son also possesses this ability, but has failed to learn the most important lesson: the sweet, gooey smiles will get you everything.
Lil Diva is a bit more savvy, withholding the non-angelic looks for me.
Sometimes she will even perform them on command.
You might recall how last year she was in a Baby Glare-Off contest. While she didn’t win, it made one thing obvious: her glare is on par with the evil Chucky.
With age, she has only perfected her “angry face” (as she calls it) even more, and the resemblance is downright scary.
This face can appear if I dare take a photo when she’s not in the mood. It can also manifest itself by:
A) refusing to give her a cheesestick.
B) telling her to share with her brother.
C) politely requesting she attempt to use the potty.
D) explaining why she needs to lay down and it is unacceptable to run around in poop.
E) refusing to give her Rice Chex, “pee-nuss” (peanuts-the one word she fails to enunciate), or whatever snack she has decided she wants.
F) suggesting it is quiet/nap time.
G) telling her to make her “angry face”.
Not to be pigeonholed into one look—because teachers must only see her as a paragon of angelic sweetness—she has expanded her repertoire for the appropriate target audience and situation.
For the teachers and the grandparents, there is The Angel.
For her brother there is The Pirate.
For playing mommy to real baby there is The Proud Momma.
For gathering sympathy, there is The Poor Little Girl.
For those who doubt her climbing ability, there is The Determined.
For those who want to snatch her laptop, there is The I Dare You to Try It.
For the need for speed there is The Gleeful Dare Devil.
For those who would steal her bubbles or try to help her, there is The Don’t Even Think Abouddit.
For plotting what to do when I turn my back, there is The Conniver.
For when she decides to turn on the charm, there is The Jedi Grin.
Finally, for when her face is tired but she still wants adoration, there is The Sleeping Beauty.
I just fear the day she goes from Lil Diva to Queen Diva.
We are in so much trouble.