Daddy #Fail? Or Success in Avoiding Evidence?

I am still in Canada.

This means the part of me that misses my family lives vicariously through facebook posts, instant messaging, and skype.

My husband is supposed to carefully document what I miss, so I can either long for them terribly and count the days until my return, or laugh maniacally over something while 2000 miles away.

Sunday night was the latter.

A facebook conversation with my husband on Sunday:

CG: The Tackler decided to tattoo himself with marker today. I refused to look at his tattoos to make it clear it was not going to get him attention. No pictures for the same reason.

Me: Um.. with washable marker?

Can’t you sneak a photo?

Or skype with me and I can ignore it? Then I can take a screen shot.

CG: Yes washable. Gone now.

Me: Darn. Lil Diva does that often.

CG: Yeah, this was like a full ironman suit. Legs from ankles to hips, torso, neck, copious arms, face…


You couldn’t have pretended to be on your phone surfing and taken a photo?


How very bloggable.

CG: He figured out how to get it off. Soaking with a towel to release the stuff that had dried or penetrated enough. Just soap/scrub wasn’t enough.

Me: I am still reeling how you managed not to take a single photo.

* * *

The lesson: Next time take a photo so Mommy can admire the artwork from 2000 miles away.

Secretly if possible.

Body art fun on the fourth of July

I’m sure the body painting we had done at a 4th of July party had nothing to do with inspiring The Tackler to color most of his body… And yes, the lady who did it is amazingly talented.

Then make it very clear he isn’t to do it again without permission.

Meanwhile, I am left to my imagination, and much like reading a Stephen King novel, it surely has to be worse than the reality.


* * *

Have you or your children ever decided to use their body as a canvas? Did anyone take a photo?

About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos ( sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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10 Responses to Daddy #Fail? Or Success in Avoiding Evidence?

  1. Jackie says:

    What?!?! Dads need to pay attention to things and know that so many of them are blogable moments!!

  2. My daughter does this all of the time but she’s gotten so good at it that I rarely bother to complain anymore. It used to really bug me though.

    • My daughter is two and will often decorate her hands and legs when I thought she was coloring paper, but this was a first for my son, and (so I’ve heard as there isn’t any photo evidence) it was WAY more thorough then her tattoos.

  3. If I could draw like that, I totally would. But alas, my artwork is so bad my kids would wind up in protective custody!

  4. John says:

    Normally, I’m on the side of the dad — but this was a complete #daddyFail. You can’t have that much awesome and not get a picture, even if you’re not supposed to give the behavior attention. Absolutely can not.

    • My son told me via skype tonight that it was all around his eyes, his arms… “And a computer right here!” (patted belly). I believe my suspicions are correct and he transformed himself into a robot.

      How priceless would a photo have been? I could’ve brought it out for graduation, his wedding…

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