I discovered the secret mathematical equation for a child’s birthday party.
Let’s just skip over the fact it happened almost a month ago…
It’s basic math people.
Torrential Downpour + Toys + Blindfold game + Cake + Magician + Balloons
A Pack of Happy Guests + Cloud Nine Birthday Boy + Mommy Laryngitis
1 Storm System – Be sure to have torrential downpour throughout the day and don’t worry about adding some pea-sized hail – cementing your wisdom at not attempting an outside party.
100s of Toys – Allow full access to the toys. Trains, balls, cars, dolls, play food, trampoline…. Somehow it will magically entertain the kids in a civilized fashion, allowing the hostess to chat with the adults and finalize any party set-up.
1 Cheesy Party Game –These games exist for a reason. Ours? Stick the jellyfish in Sponge Bob’s net paired with a blindfold that loved to slide off each child’s face.
Ask each child their name and age. Spin each child around the same revolution as their age. Listen to the other children giggle because spinning blindfolded children is hilarious to five year olds. Be sure if you do have a prize, you have consolation prizes for everyone else.
1 Cake –Always have a chocolate and a white cake option. Decorate it yourself or hand it off to the professionals. The kids won’t care: they just want cake.
Sidenote:Cut bigger slices for the guests, or you will be eating cake for the next week….
1 Magician –You have a houseful of kids and adults and it is pouring rain outside. You need entertainment. A magician is perfect for the five year old crowd and they will be riveted – allowing you time to clean up the cake mess before it spreads around the entire house.
If they are a good magician, they also enthrall the adults…
6 balloons… per child – These aren’t just any balloons: they are magic ones. Six are used to make a hat for the birthday boy. A crazy hat. One capable of fitting into the Dr. Seuss world.
Each child gets a balloon to hold or wear.
Be sure multiple children choose to have swords created to ensure a battle.
All of the above ensure:
10 Happy Children – They’ve played, consumed sugar, been entertained, and now have balloons to pop.
1 Ecstatic Birthday Boy – This is before he opens the pile of presents he’s been drooling over during the party lulls.
1 Mother with Laryngitis – I’m pretty sure the magician made it disappear, just to make sure the check cleared. It vanished sometime during the magic show and made me doubly glad I wasn’t responsible for entertaining the kids.
It took a week to recover.
I ate a lot of cake to help it along….
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What is your magic birthday formula?