When a Tree Becomes a Rocket, the Universe a Klein Bottle, and Drinking Soda Causes Eternal Life

Children are hilarious.

I’m convinced evolution did this on purpose.

To give us another reason to stick around on the days when we would like to run screaming for any location supplying caffeine, wi-fi, and a kid-free zone.

Even if it’s just the latter.

The Tackler is an experienced whiner. To make up for this unfortunate trait, he’s gotten more creative with his topics of entertainment…

“If you put a dark cloud on a tree… it will turn into a rocket ship!”

“There’s a planet bigger than the whole of space! It’s called “Monorant…” It’s the biggest planet in the whole earth!”

Maybe Toy Story gets the credit for an obsession with earth and space that has gone on for over year.

It could also be genetic given my love of sci-fi and my husband’s fascination of all things in space – demonstrated in my husband’s facebook status update a few days ago – as he and our son debated N-dimensional space…

Overactive imagination of five-year-old son: I know a planet so far away, it is outside of space!

Overactive imagination of Dad (me): I’m listening…

Overactive imagination of son: It is so far away that space is yellow instead of black. There are three spaces. One is black, one is green, and one is yellow.

Overactive imagination of Dad: Okay, so you’ve moved past 3 dimensions into N-dimensional space.

Overactive imagination of son: Yeah, but the yellow one is very small.

Overactive imagination of Dad: Okay, next you are going to tell me that gravity is diluted over those dimensions. I’ve heard this one before…

Overactive imagination of son: But the name of that planet, that is so far away, I only know its name in Spanish – it is London.

Overactive imagination of Dad:My son believes the universe is a Klein bottle. I thought I was the only one in the house who dreamed about n-dimensional hypercubes…

While cool looking, a "real" Klein bottle can only exist in 4 dimensional space. And I am reminded why I never majored in math.

Um…. right.

It made a bit more sense after I googled “Klein bottle“.

It is a bit like taking the red pill and realizing you’ve spent your entire life in The Matrix.

And marveling at the wonder of imagination.

And what happens when you try to convince a four year old that “Soda is bad for you.”  – aka “pop” for those in the midwest, “Coke” for the deep south.

Somehow, it becomes the fountain of life.

Trust me. You’ll want to read it.

It’s why soda and hangovers and dentists don’t mix.


Now where is my life extending can of Mountain Dew……

* * *

What have your children done or said lately to make sure you don’t run screaming for the hills?

About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos (www.writingwithchaos.com) sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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9 Responses to When a Tree Becomes a Rocket, the Universe a Klein Bottle, and Drinking Soda Causes Eternal Life

  1. TheKirCorner says:

    Hi Kel! I loved this!! Kids are so funny aren’t they and they just have wild thoughts!!!! My boys make up stories about kings, frogs and knights …I blame Little Einsteins, damn even I am learning things from that show! I have been at Wit’s end for a few weeks now with their whining and “I’m scared of everything” but yes there are things they say that make me so happy to be their mom. 😉

    • My children have also recently discovered Little Einstein’s. I love how they are introduced to music I grew up with (thanks to an otherwise un-educational Looney Tunes where they defied the laws of physics).

      My son does get scared occasionally, but my daughter has no fear.

      It’s a bit scary.

      But the whining… Oh the whining.

      Someone needs to invent whine-ectomy’s..

  2. John says:

    Wait, it’s not “normal” to wonder about the universe beyond the third dimension?

  3. Running from Hell with El says:

    LOL. “Klein bottle.” Dig this post!

  4. Adam says:

    Abby was almost but not quite five when she realized that every explanation for our existence leads to an infinite regress. This bugged her to no end.

  5. Pingback: Imagine Your Perfect Space « A Kiss Of Bliss

  6. Pingback: Compulsive Creative Writers | dwwriter

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