Top 10 Holiday Lessons I Learned This Week
10. If you plan a early season ski vacation, it will be the year the only snow existing on the mountain is the stuff they have to make. For four years they’ve had above average snowfall before December. Naturally the one year I convince my family to go somewhere with skiing capabilities, it is the year with below average snowfall. Luckily ski resorts know how to make snow…
9. Grocery shopping for ten people, even if one of them is a picky two year old, takes a long time. You will always forget one vital item and have to go out again.
8. Cooking for nine people, plus one picky two year old, takes an even longer time. Multiplied by seven days.
7. Did I mention how long it takes to wash dishes for ten people? Multiplied by seven days? We took turns, but all I want now is a dishwasher capable of clearing the table and loading itself.
6. It does not matter if you fly to Iowa or Colorado: The Cough will appear late one night, especially if your children are forced to share a room and run the risk of waking the other. It will likely take the form of a scary, “Crap, I can’t breathe!” croupy cough and you will spend the next three hours trying to keep the child from waking the entire house.
5. If you use an outdoor hot tub, leave the towel inside the house. It is better to run dripping wet outside and grab a warm towel left inside, then grab a towel chilled to five degrees before wrapping it around you.
4. Plans are organic and change from moment to moment. Become too set in an idea and watch your inner toddler come out in the presence of your family. Or, watch your son refuse to ski because his teacher called in sick.
3. Whatever gift one child gets, the other child wants. If they are given identical gifts, this is still somehow true.
2. Getting the perfect family photo with four and half year old and a two year old is impossible. The two year old won’t look at the camera, the four and half year old makes faces, and the one time all aligns, someone else blinks.
Mental note to improve my photoshop skills.
1. No matter how big the house is, if you’re staying with your family, you will still find yourself needing more space. This is especially true when #6 comes into play and no place exists for the sick, screaming child that will not wake up at least one other person. Family is also capable of pushing every button you have.
This can be fixed by enjoying a day on the mountain skiing, leaving them with your two year old, and coming home to a hot dinner they cooked for you while they take a turn on the dishes.
And suddenly, everything is perfect.
What have you learned so far this holiday season?