Not Your Typical “Being Thankful” Post

With Thanksgiving this week, each child in my son’s Mother’s Day Out program was asked what they were thankful for.

The Tackler?

“I’m thankful for the United States.”

And before you think my son is bursting with patriotic sentiment you should know one thing: I’m pretty sure he just meant the map of it.

Because he’s all about maps.

* * *

I reclined on my couch, trying to formulate cohesive sentences in a blog post.

My son entered the room, butt-naked.

“Daddy, I have something to show you.”

My 4.5 year old loves to play in the driveway.

Gratuitous Tackler photo because some times even I cannot take a photo of...

“What?”

“Daddy, I want to show you something.”

“It better not be poop. It’s not poop, is it?”

(Pause.) “No.”

My husband followed him…. to the bathroom.

I heard exclamations and superlatives about something being the “biggest ever”.

I giggled and turned back to my screen as my husband walked back into the room.

“It’s impressive.”

I smiled and nodded. “I bet it was.”

“Mommy! I need to show you something.” The Tackler turned his still-half-naked attention to me.

“I’m good, thanks.”

“No, Mommy. I have to show you something.”

I knew resistance was futile and detached myself from the comfortable cushions. I followed him to the bathroom, where he climbed back onto the toilet.

And showed me his “deposit”.

Once again, I was very, very thankful he no longer wore diapers. A body his size should not be capable of producing that much – still intact.

“Wow, sweetie! That’s a really big one!” I said, thinking to myself, “Holy s**t!

“I know!” Pride shone from his face.

He is such a boy.

Even when wearing pink hair ties.

As I walked back to the couch I heard my son’s voice echo from behind me.

“I have to tell everyone how big my poop is.”

Be careful what you wish for when your mother blogs…..

* * *

Unless fulfilling a punishment, the Tackler always gets a book read before bed, typically by my husband.

Monday night during the routine, The Tackler’s stuffed penguin explored CG’s shirt, diving beneath it.

“Peck peck.”

My husband paused in reading. “What are you doing?”

“Pengy is eating the bugs off of you.”

I am so thankful my son is very imaginative and my husband is not actually infested with anything…

* * *

This is Lil Diva, whenever food not listed in “one of the ten foods I will eat” category is offered to her:

Ppoto taken when my daughter was offered a new food: tortilla pizzas.

This is Lil Diva's reaction to my new cooking. She refuses to try items I know she would love. The item this night? Tortilla pizzas. She loves tortillas. She loves pizzas. She refused to take a single taste.

I am thankful this phase doesn’t last forever.

Does it?

* * *

The Tackler was annoyed with me yesterday.

No surprise.

I think it’s because he was in time-out for shoving his sister when her three foot proximity to his toys caused him to go ballistic.

“Mommy, if you do that ONE more time, you will have to go to bed for…. for… FIFTY hours.”

I smiled at him. “Promise?”

I would be very thankful for that.

* * *

What would you be thankful for…. if wishes (or “punishments from your four and half year old) came true?

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About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos (www.writingwithchaos.com) sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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20 Responses to Not Your Typical “Being Thankful” Post

  1. Oh my word! My daughter does the exact same thing if the food is not in that same category.
    One would swear I was trying to cut off a toe or something to that effect. Its rediculous! And I am hoping (praying) that this is just a phase.

  2. Katie says:

    Boy I hope that phase doesn’t last forever, otherwise my son will never eat anything except peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and applesauce.

    • I know!

      She used to eat way more food than she does now. In fact, unless it’s a hot dog or the rare filet mignon, she almost eats no meat. Funny, she was the same as a baby and refused any baby food with meat. But she used to eat burgers and chicken the first year.

      I wasn’t prepared for this as my son is actually pretty good and has a wider “I will only eat this list”. Plus, he’s learned tasting things can lead to even more tasty things, so he’s actually trying foods that used to scare him.

      I just hope she does the same…eventually.

  3. Phyllis says:

    Does the picky eating phase last forever? No. But it can last a long, long time, I’m sorry to say. That was Jen’s face, more or less, up until the time she went off to college. Bryan was less picky, and started to warm up to the food when he was around 15.

    I was very thankful when my kids got big enough to send to the kitchen to make a sandwich or get cereal, because honestly, I got tired of fighting with them over food. When they were between Diva and Tackler’s ages, they would gag themselves at the table if I insisted they try “just one bite,” and would vomit on their plates.

    I tried the, “If they get hungry enough, they’ll eat,” tactic. They would skip dinner every night, and cry. Or gag and vomit when finally coming to the table, hungry. This was not exotic food, and I am a good cook. It was them. And their will, in this situation, was stronger than mine. It’s the one thing I ever gave in on. I cooked separate meals until they were old enough to forage for themselves.

    You know how much I adore my children. But I tell you what, they totally sapped away the joy I’d always taken in cooking. Between them and Weight Watchers, that joy has never returned, and I’m 55 now.

    So … I hope you fair better than I did 🙂 *HUG*

    • I think before that point I will force my children to make dinner for each other.

      I plan on trying the “eat when hungry” when she’s a bit older.. Around three.

      But she is so capable of working herself into a fit like your children. She’s such an angel until the drama is turned on and then watch out.

      I’ve noticed if my son helps, he’s more likely to eat or at least try it.

      So I plan on involving them early.

      And pray it helps.

  4. Kim Woehl says:

    my advice about foods. Take away the reaction. Put it on their plates. Tell them they may try it or not, but that it must remain on their plates. Then say absolutely nothing but offer no substitutions either. When kids are hungry they eat. Their bodies know what they need. Don’t make it a battle and you will soon find they are much better eaters. This coming from a child care provider of 18 years. advice is given for free. It is never expected that anyone follows it. It is just offered. Good luck!

    • I appreciate the advice, but I have noticed that children can behave completely different at school versus home. For example, my daughter NEVER cries or whines at her school. They think she is the most angelic, perfect child on the planet. For them, she might eat new food, but I have to provide the lunch and make it something that doesn’t require being chilled, reheated, or insanely messy.

      Whenever I offer multiple things, she eats her favorite and ignores the rest, even if it’s a food she typically likes.

      I’m trying to introduce her to new food, but most she even looks at and she’s mad.

      I try not to make it a battle, but my husband is so frustrated he’s ready to jump right to the “eat or go hungry” phase, but I am not. Maybe when she’s a bit closer to three.

      Thanks for the free advice! I’ve wondered if you were lurking.

      • Kim Woehl says:

        The good news is all things are a phase. Even for us adults. We are constantly changing things up. She will be fine. Earlier you mentioned having them help cook. I totally agree with that. Few children won’t try what they created or helped to prepare. You might also think about a very simple garden. Read the book Oliver’s Vegetable’s to them, its a great story about a young boy who only likes french fries. My little people love this story and then we end with letting them each choose a vegetable to cook that week. My oldest will be 19 on Thanksgiving day! Where has the time gone. Love reading your blog.

  5. Kim Woehl says:

    opps forgot one important detail. Do try to have at least 1 thing that you know they will eat at each meal. You don’t want them starving as they learn to try new things on their own. 🙂

  6. Carey says:

    I’ll vote for the fifty hour nap! 🙂

    Yes, it’s just a phase. The secret, at least at my house, was to remain calm, don’t force them to eat, but don’t make anything else, either. And just keep offering the same foods over and over. I don’t mean like, “If you don’t eat it for dinner, you’ll get it for breakfast!” I just mean that you should definitely make the tortilla pizzas again in a week or two. Don’t give up just because she won’t eat it the first time. Good luck! 🙂

    • We’ve had tortilla pizzas three times now. Each time she melted down and refused to eat it. She’s also had the sauce offered as a dip, which she also won’t try when we give her pasta with it.

      I have issues letting her go hungry this young. Perhaps by 2.5 or 3.

      It should be noted she’s been this picky since her breastfed only days – if I didn’t have enough milk when she wanted it, she just got very, very mad instead of continuing to nurse and raise my supply (as her brother did) – making the situation worse.

      Doesn’t the fifty hour nap sound heavenly?!

      My son was very confused by my excitement at his suggested punishment.

      • Carey says:

        I do apologize if I made it sound easy- it certainly isn’t! 🙂 And yes, I know what you mean about having a hard time letting her go hungry at this age. I think I would vote with whoever said to give her a ‘new’ food and a food you know she likes at the same meal. Don’t give her enough of the familiar food to fill up on, but at least that gives her something to eat. It takes a bit of the pressure off. Not that I’m very good at it, but I think the secret is to be unflappable. If they can’t get a rise out of you, it’s not as rewarding for them. But, like I said, I’m not always very good at that. 🙂

  7. A fifty hour nap would be nice… Happy Thanksgiving

  8. I swear, when Tech Support was an infant our toilet died. While shopping for a new one, someone we look at the Toto, a serious toilet from Japan.

    “You have no idea how big that kid’s poops are going to be,” said the salesman.

    We bought the toilet.

    He was so right.

    It is crazy, isn’t it?

    Happy Thanksgiving, Kelly!

    • I have a brother. I know what teen males can do.

      But I was not prepared for it at age 4.5.

      This issues began around three, when he still was not potty trained and no diaper on Earth existed that could continue his output.

      Hence the coining of the term: poopapalooza…

      Happy Thanksgiving my dear! Are you cooking or visiting?

  9. Elena Aitken says:

    Ah..the ‘poop phase’, soon to be followed by the ‘fart phase’, oh which my kids are currently card holding members. They laugh about it, scream about it, do it, do it again. laugh some more, stick each others faces in it, do it even more…sigh…
    I’m thankful that this too shall pass

    • I picture perfectly how much joy my son will have in the “fart phase”. Given the power he can produce now… I might have to tent and fumigate my house on a weekly basis.

      As a girl, I never understood the male glee of gaseous emissions…

  10. I’d settle for about 5 hours right now 😉

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