No, That Isn’t Makeup

Friday’s “What the frak…?” moment (WTFM) is brought to you by……….

Head trauma: Now I know it runs in the family.

It was only a few “what the frak..?” Fridays ago I talked about how I feared an officer of the law would think I loved beating my children. In twenty-four hours they both went from smooth, unmarred faces to Head Injuries R Us.

I learned something Wednesday: They come by this trait honestly.

All I wanted to do was pick up the iPod charging cable Lil Diva hid next to the nightstand.

I bent down, my speed set to typical “Mommy Needs a Clone Because I Will Never Get Anything Done”.

Forgetting the night stand rested in the corner. Where it has for the last six years.

My forehead met met the polished wood and ricocheted off of it.

“Frakfrakfrakfrakfrak FRAK!”

And yes, I did use that word, but just barely.

My four and a half year old came running. “What happened, Mommy?”

“Mommy did something really reckless.”

I pulled my fingertips away and found drops of red on them.

What. The. Frak.

My children run into brick wall corners and sharp wooden edges at full tilt, but I bend to pick something up and manage to draw blood.

I stuck a piece of towel to my forehead and grabbed my children’s ice pack from the freezer-that-doesn’t-freeze.

Forty-five minutes later, I took a photo:

Why you should always be careful when picking something up

This does not do justice to how raised it was the first day. Now imagine a Cars band-aid over it while I went out to eat.

That’s going to leave a mark.

I went out to dinner with my family that night, wearing a Cars water proof band-aid over my giant goose egg.

Oh yes, I did.

I looked a lot my son, just two weeks before, only mine had Lightning McQueen and Sally on it.

My 4.5 year old's multiple head injuries are inherited naturally.

This was my son two weeks ago.

I figured if there was anytime I could get away with it, right before Halloween was it.

In hindsight, I should’ve put one on each family member, to really make people wonder. My brain wasn’t really firing at 100% at that point.

The goose egg is greatly diminished now, but I’m sure it will be a great purple/black/green bruise tomorrow when I perform Thriller again at my gym for the Spooktacular, just like last year. It will be the one makeup-less spot on my head, because if my hair lightly grazes it, I cringe. Makeup will not be an option.

At least now I know who my children inherited their head trauma proclivity from.

Happy Halloween!

What perfectly avoidable bodily injury have you sustained?

About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos ( sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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21 Responses to No, That Isn’t Makeup

  1. Sparky says:

    Ouch!! Hate it when the furniture attacks!
    I have a Spongebob band-aid story…but you definitely WIN on pain-factor!!

    • I am curious about this Spongebob story…

      Furniture attacking is evil. I think the injury looks worse than the When My Minivan Attacks incident last year (which happened above the hairline), but that one worried me more. I didn’t cut myself but running full tilt into the top of the car (don’t ask) knocked me just short of a concussion. I actually had my husband come home because I found myself not caring if my daughter was crying and it scared the heck out of me.

      Luckily I felt much better by the next day.

  2. Ow! OW! Furniture should know better to move out of the way of incoming foreheads!!! Hope it heals up quickly & stops reminding you of it with every hair that wisps over it!

  3. We all need padded corners. Sometimes padded rooms, too. Hope it heals nicely…

  4. kristinherdy says:

    ouch. my condolences on your klutziness. it runs in my family, too. genetics are a female dog, aren’t they?

  5. notquiteold says:

    Just this week: bent over the plants to vacuum behind them, and one plant attacked me with a sharp stem to the eyeball. Evil plant. Guess who is going to spend the winter outdoors?

  6. Liz McLennan says:

    Oh, dear. My youngest got a doozer on the forehead last week – the goose-egg was almost the size of his whole head.

    Please tell me you got a picture of you wearing the band-aid?

  7. Annie says:

    Taz got a head contusion just exactly like that recently! It was so awful. Ouch, ouch, ouch.

  8. John says:

    I just finished playing bass for a run of Guys & Dolls.

    During the first Saturday night show, during the strip-tease, a string of pearls ended up being thrown further than was anticipated and hit the top of my bass, and my head. I jumped a little.

    My forehead made contact, hard, with a tuning peg. It was ouchy, and left the entire left-side of my face drenched in blood.

    Like a trooper, I played until the end (fortunately, the entire second act of Guys & Dolls is only about 40 minutes long)

  9. Ouch! That is a serious gouge! Yowzers! Have a great weekend -and carry Bandaids.

  10. Holy shit, woman! You really slammed yourself into that nightstand, huh?
    Hope it heals in record time. Owies.
    Meanwhile, how bloody adorable is The Tackler? He is a fine looking boy and no bandaid can mess with that.

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  12. Rainyday says:

    At the end of August, I was at the ER with my youngest, waiting for stitches on the side of his face – which turned into a shiner – while sporting a black eye of my very own. Yeah. I was waiting for child services to come by.

    That looks horrible! I love the Cars bandaid approach. We do that over here, too.

  13. Pingback: A Good Samaritan Saved My Two Year Old | Dances with Chaos

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