I had a full barrel of it already: too tired, too cranky, don’t play with the kids enough, not enough home cooked meals, not enough fun activities, failing in discipline, too much discipline, not enough play dates, house is disaster, sending them to school to begin with…
The list goes on.
The most recent fling of guilt caught me unaware, pants down if you will, because I was asked directly.
I didn’t know what to say. Sure, I’d known sign up sheets would pop up throughout the year for various special events at the school, many around the holidays.
But I had not expected a teacher to outright say, “We want you to volunteer.”
Forcing me to give a yes or no answer.
And now I am flooded with guilt.
Because after thinking about it the last two days, I gave an answer.
Now the mommy guilt is screaming at me for being selfish and I feel like I need to justify my actions.
Five Reasons I Refused to Volunteer
1. It was my daughter’s teacher who requested it. My daughter who does not elicit one single whine or cry while at school until I show up. If I “help” out for her class I am afraid (especially if she’s still teething) she will lapse into her Mommy-Cling-Wrap ways and we will both be miserable.
2. I pay them a good chunk of money each month to watch my children. It seems a bit like paying a baby-sitter then staying at home to hang out with your kids.
3. Every second of seven hours of “free” time I get each week is precious to me. If this was an outside-of-school-hours bonus activity, I would feel differently.
4. It was for a Thursday during my Zumba class.
5. My house is still not organized and I swore it would get done this month. I want this done so badly, I have skipped my absolute favorite Zumba class because I have so little uninterrupted time to do this.
Sure, some reasons are stronger than others.
They seem petty as I write them.
If the teacher were in front of me now, I can almost hear myself apologizing and changing my mind.
Because this volunteering guilt? It’s killing me.
Have you ever fallen prey to the volunteering mommy guilt?
Or did you join in and wish you’d said no?
Did you love every minute of volunteering?