The Perfect Patsy: A mysterious “gift” is left for you, and who does it seems obvious. Or is it???
A week ago I was walking around, madly organizing my house while the kids were away at “school”.
As I crossed by the laundry room, I smelled a stench that did not belong in the hallway.
I performed the “where is this coming from dance”.
I walked to the laundry room, opening the door because the cat box is kept in there.
The scent vanished, leaving only the slight smell of kitty litter.
I moved to my son’s bedroom, wondering if he’d left a soaked diaper there or drenched his sheets.
The scent wafted away.
I sauntered in the guest bathroom, wondering if a pull-up lurked here.
No item greeted me, but the smell was stronger.
I looked in the toilet, wondering if my four and half year old forgot to flush, as he so often does.
The toilet was clear, but the urine filled smell bathed the room.
Perplexed, I looked at the floor. I do live with two boys.
No puddles or yellow trails snaking down the toilet.
Finally, I slid open the shower door, left partially ajar.
And found it.
A small yellow puddle, just in front of the drain.
What the frak! I thought. Who pees in the shower?
The answer was obvious: The Tackler (he loves to use this bathroom, and will often indulge in some naked time until I insist on him re-clothing).
I picked him up from school and asked him, “Did you pee in the shower?” I kept my voice even, intending to give him a calm lecture on the appropriate location for waste evacuation.
“No, mommy.” He didn’t hesitate with his answer.
“Are you suuuuure?”
“No mommy, I didn’t do that.”
Figuring he was trying to avoid trouble and it was a freak occurrence, perhaps while half asleep, I let it go. “Okay, hon. Just remember we always use the potty to go to the bathroom.”
I mentioned the nasty mess and The Tackler’s response to CG. “I mean it has to be him. Lil Diva doesn’t know how to take off her pants yet, crawl into the tub, pee, and then somehow re-clothe herself. I’m guessing it wasn’t you…?”
He gave me an incredulous look. “No.”
“So that just leaves the cats.”
We both found the notion ridiculous.
My husband was upstairs getting some things when he heard the shower door rattling, as if someone was pushing on it.
He went into the guest bathroom.
And found someone in the tub:
What the frak?!
He’d left another liquid present.
The small slit in the door just big enough for him to squeeze through.
Caught in the act.
His plan of the purrfect Tackler patsy ruined.
I have no idea why he’s doing this – the litter box was cleaned.
The door is firmly shut now.
I hope he doesn’t know how to open it.
I wonder if I can teach him to use the toilet instead?
Because that would be cool.
If he didn’t miss.
Or fall in.
It is better than using the carpet or the couch.
And framing the 4.5 year old was rather brilliant….