Inappropriate Giggles, the Catch Phrase, and the Blowfish

My four year old hands me a toy.

“You push the button and blow stuff up.”

I pretend ignorance of the game, concerned about The Tackler’s fascination for exploding everything in his play. “This is my house. I don’t want to blow it up.”

He faces me. “But you can pretend to blow me.”

It was wrong, on so many levels, as I shook with silent laughter.

* * *

It is a pairing of words I never wish to hear again.

The Tackler chants them an estimated 359 times a day.

“Poopy pants.”

I have no idea how to make him stop and wait with bated breath over what catch phrase will fascinate him next.

Because I’m sure it will be worse.

* * *

The Tackler climbs onto my back, gripping my shoulders tight as we traverse the deep waters of the pool. He leans in placing his lips onto my upper back, as if to give me a kiss.

“Pppppbbbbtttt!”

I can't remember anything new and hilarious Lil Diva said this week, so here is a random recent photo of her showing off her UT gear.

He blows a raspberry on me instead, resulting in the delightful sound of flatulence.

CG dubbed The Tackler his “sucker fish” after experiencing this exact scenario multiple times.

I personally think blowfish is more apt.

What things have your children said or done to make you smile?

Did your child ever have a catch phrase that drove you crazy?

Do tell. Please.

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About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos (www.writingwithchaos.com) sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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17 Responses to Inappropriate Giggles, the Catch Phrase, and the Blowfish

  1. ha i like it! nice post!

  2. Yesterday, my 22mo son reported–accurately!–on his diaper: “All green stinky trash!” Bwahaha. I look forward to more as his verbal skills grow.

    The bad news is he’s savoring all the commands he knows to the point of abuse. “Get up, Daddy!” (He’s saying these words to Ba.D. right now. “Lay down, Mommy!” “Back off, Mommy!” “Stop it, Daddy!” Saying these things once is never enough. Nope, he’s gotta say them another 98 times–for emphasis?

  3. I find sometimes that yelling “poopy pants” back at them takes some of the magic out and makes them want to think of something else to say. 🙂

  4. Oh my have we ever had some moments where the kids say something that makes me cringe and laugh and then worry that they will ask for an explanation.

    It’s hard enough when Rihanna’s S & M comes on the radio…but when Karly is quoting Alice and Wonderland and shouting “Eat me!” I die.

    Ah, yes. The joys of raising children.
    It’s a never-ending story.

    Of hilarity.

  5. Actually had to explain Rhianna’s S&M song before Monkey went off to camp. He said (and I loosely quote), so what you ate trying to tell me is that dome people get sexual pleasure from either hurting other people or being hurt? What is wrong with them?”

    I didn’t say anything, but he demanded, “Seriously, what the he’ll is wrong with them?”

    I wonder what he’s going to do the first time a girl bites him on his ear. I think he’s gonna implode.

    • Was your face a shade of red as you explained, or did you manage to keep yourself in “teacher” mode?

      You keep opening my eyes to new situations and conversations I never imagined having until my child is a teenager. At least.

  6. CG says:

    CG: No, Batman is going to put the Joker in Jail.
    T: Then he’ll just get out. And he is a “bad guy”
    CG: No, he’ll use the Bat-rope. Then the Joker can’t get away.
    T: He’ll just untie it. I think Batman needs to smash him.
    CG: No, Batman needs to bring him to justice.
    T: Then he’ll just explode and come back as a little Joker.
    CG: I don’t think it works that way.

  7. Annie says:

    Our little neighbor boy was having a lemonade stand and decided to give out free peanuts. Such a salesman. He made a sign in his kindergarten handwriting that said “Free Penus” and proudly put it on display. Needless to say, I roared at that one.

  8. Kim says:

    Dickie will tell us we’re “freaking him out” and then run out of the room yelling “you no look at meeeeee!” I secretly want him to follow it up with “I am not an amimaaaaaaal” lol

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