My oven: All I did was turn it on. I swear.
Does anyone else remember their grandparent’s house? They had the same stove and refrigerator for your entire childhood. The same ones you saw in the photos from when your parents were kids.
This also applies to your childhood toys, like the awesome Fisher Price garage. They survived you and somehow your children too.
Everything was built to last.
Companies decided this was a bad business model at some point and now, the item will last to just past its warranty.
On December 31st, 2010, my refrigerator died.
CG brought it back to life.
Then a few months ago, it became ill, refusing to freeze anything but water.
The compressor is on its last legs.
I’m told it’s fatal, and only a matter of time before it hums its last breath.
Then on Tuesday I turned on my oven.
To preheat for the Papa Murphy’s pizza.
I went to write while it warmed up, my children engrossed in Finding Nemo as the outside temperatures graced 103. Again.
Fifteen minutes later, I realized I had yet to hear the telltale “beep” informing me the desired temperature was reached. I walked into the kitchen and saw the temperature read 375, not the requested 425.
And why was the oven light flickering with a bad bulb when I’d never turned it on?
What the frak?!
The light inside the door flashed, like a scene at the end of a movie when the hero and the villian/creature face off for the final battle.
I hit the oven light switch, and it turned on.
But if it wasn’t the oven light…?
I opened the oven door.
And saw sparks.
The bottom heating coil had an one inch segment glowing bright orange. It tossed bits of fire as it popped.
My oven had joined the appliance rebellion.
I turned off the oven, grabbed the camera, failed to notice the flash was off, and took this –>
Before I had time to turn on the flash, the glow was gone, leaving the segment of coil riddled with melted metal bubbles instead of the smooth finish.
CG claims he can replace the coil.
I just sent him to the internet hunting for the part. And directions. Because 48 hours have passed since the sparking, and nothing has been done.
He never uses the oven. It is my domain.
I can’t bake my favorite brownies.
And I have a fresh pizza going bad in my fridge. How long do Papa Murphy’s pizza’s last if not baked?
For now, the oven joins the other house appliances:
1) The “high end” Built-in Microwave that won’t turn on – may it rest in peace, while its Wal-mart counterpart brought from my first apartment keeps on ticking.
2) The Dishwasher – thanks to silverware falling down, then melting the interior – impossible to fix and thus required a new dishwasher.
3) The Fridge – which moved from Iowa to Texas with me, so technically doesn’t fit the mold of the other ones that came with this house.
Now I wait for The Stove Top (the oven and stove top are two separate pieces) and The Washer and Dryer (bought for when we moved into this house in 2003) to join the group.
If they could wait at least another ten years to do so – I’m good with thirty or forty – it would be most appreciated.
Because I can’t handle any more frakking stuff breaking.
Happy Friday, all.
Anyone else stricken with Appliance Killing Fever or had a different “what the frak?” moment this week?