Today happens to be my 300th post here (since I started blogging one year and three days ago)!
Funny how blogging milestones keep falling on Friday…
So without further ado, here is my 300th post, and a “what the frak” moment perhaps a few of you can relate to…
Why keys should have built in inter-dimensional portal GPS tracking: Last week my husband’s car keys vanished. I think I might be responsible. Maybe. Then on the 4th of July I had one of the bigger “Oh frak!” moments possible, short of having a child blow out of their diaper with zero supplies on hand.
It has not been a good week for keys in our house.
I have a memory of placing my husband’s keys into my purse as Bobbi and I went out to a final BFF dinner before she flies off to Russia this weekend.
They have not been seen since.
They are not in her car.
They are not at the restaurant.
They are not in my purse unless it shares the inter-dimensional portal with my dryer.
They are GONE.
My husband no longer has a house key and has been using the spare for a week.
On the 4th of July we went to a carnival in Cedar Park. It. Was. Awesome.
But the ending almost went into Epic Fail.
Arc Attack played on the stage and we sat in the field as many families packed up and left – because it was after 10 PM at this point.
The Tackler was toast.
The field? Pitch black.
I gathered our things so we could leave, nearly dumping an opened Dr. Pepper all over me and prayed nothing had strayed too far from the stroller because I wouldn’t be able to see it.
This was complicated further by CG and the kids moving away from their previous location into a better spot as the field cleared out a bit and the band called for audience members interested in being onstage in the metal cage.
I escorted the Tackler to the restrooms in case he passed out on the car ride home – he hadn’t used the facilities at all during the 3.5 hours there. He trudged, his pace that of a snail.
As we walked, I realized something.
My car keys were not in my pocket.
What. The. Frak!
I hid my escalating panic, our return trip to CG just as slow.
Then I freaked out. I had just had them prior to assembling our stuff. They couldn’t be far.
Why hadn’t I brought a flashlight?
Luckily, CG’s Droid X has an interesting feature where you turn its flash into a flashlight – about as bright as one too.
I cased the field around our old and new spots, then attempted to retrace my tracks to the bathroom.
“What are you looking for?” Several people asked.
“My car keys.”
I could see from their faces. They thought I was frakked.
CG located me, not too hard with the beacon of his cell phone.
“We found your keys. They were in the diaper bag, just like we suggested.”
I’d looked there first. I swear. Even though I had no memory of placing them inside.
What the frak?
Damn fluctuating dimensional portals for keys…
Did you or someone you know have a “What the frak?” moment this week? Or is there another object in your house that also finds this portal? Please share.