Lord of the Castle and the Tallywhacker: Tacklerism Tuesday

It should be noted, as Lil Diva is also The Tacklerette, she is likely to make appearances on Tuesday posts as well.

* * *

While I was Zumba-ing my booty off, my husband spent quality time with the kiddos.

He put Lil Diva down for a nap.

Then he hauled The Tackler to the store while I attempted to write.

Soon, calls drifted over the baby monitor.




It was happy chatter, so different from the whining crying, “MOM-MEEEEEEEE!” I typically receive.

Her calls unanswered, she still held back her usual screeching, switching tactics.

“Dad-dee POOOOO! Dad-deee POOP! Poop! Dad-dee!”

Resigned I set the laptop aside, wondering if this was a new ploy, but knowing if she spoke the truth, there would be no return to sleep.

I should’ve known Lil Diva would make it a reality.

* * * * * *

It was only the second time we’ve been to “the castle park”, the first before Lil Diva learned to sit up on her own.

The Tackler had forgotten the wonders of The Castle, and immediately disappeared inside, ignoring the playground.

Lil Diva followed.

So did CG and I, carefully maneuvering into the tiny spaces, CG smacking his head on a low clearance.

We escaped at our first chance, leaving the Tackler to his imagination.

Usually, he stays in a bubble, living in his world.

This time he allowed two little girls in.

I caught part of their conversation and moved closer to eavesdrop in.

“It’s summer!” he yelled, feet stomping from the top of the tower down to the ground floor.

“Wake up!” The older girl said to the younger, following my son. “Breakfast time!”

My son mimicked cooking on the stove.

“Okay outside!” he said, ducking beneath the door frame.

They shadowed and clanged the chimes outside.

“Okay, night time!” The Tackler hurried back up the stairs to the tower, as the older girl “tucked in” the younger on the second floor.

“Good night,” she said, following the stairs back to the tower.

All was quiet.

For about five seconds.

“Summer time!” he said again, repeating the routine.

Over and over again.

Lil Diva, curious, climbed up to the second floor.

“She’s the grandma,” The Tackler informed his “wife”.

Lil Diva played “deaf, quirky grandma”, completely ignoring any direction or orders and doing her own thing.

“It’s time to leave, sweetie.”

He pouted a bit, then called to his new friends. “Bye-bye! I have to go to work!”

He walked toward the car as I muffled my giggles.

“What were you playing?”

“I was playing Summertime. I was the daddy.” He proceed to give me a step by step breaking of the pattern written above. “Then I had to go to work.”

I smiled and hugged him. “You’re so good at pretending to be daddy.”

* * * * * * * * *

It should be noted, we do not use euphemisms in referring to genitalia with our children. My son has a fascination with science, especially the body, and using the words “tallywhacker” or “wee-wee” just didn’t seem right.

My husband and I were off playing volleyball, my friend Bobbi kind enough to watch the kiddos.

Afterward I checked Facebook, and found this as her status:

Out-of-left-field quote of the day:
Bobbi: I DO know about the tongue. I study language. I’m a linguist.
Tackler: Yeah, you don’t have a penis. You’re a girl. But I’m a boy and I have a penis.
Bobbi: (hysterical laughter) Um… that’s right…

I about died right there.

Until pride filled me.

At least he didn’t claim girls grew penises anymore.

What has your child said or done this week to make you laugh?


About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos (www.writingwithchaos.com) sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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13 Responses to Lord of the Castle and the Tallywhacker: Tacklerism Tuesday

  1. You have to love the Tackler’s desire to spread his knowledge around.

    I mean, these are important facts he’s sharing.

    Bobbi may have been waiting around for hers to grow all this time…

    But now? She knows. 🙂

  2. SO glad I found you.

    Some friendships were just meant to be.

    (and some people – like me – can’t stop throwing around their two cents.)

    It can make for a winning combination. Like a boy and his penis.

    Kind of.

  3. Reba Verrall says:

    I think its brilliant he so confidently knows and can explain the facts of human anatomy…well at least the one of the key parts 😉 We too used proper nouns with our girls when they were young and I remember when our eldest (4 I think) clued in that her Dad was in fact a boy which therefore meant he had a penis…she was very sympathetic and helpful: “Daddy ~sighs and pats him on the arm~ I know you have a penis” she said it in such a way as to convey she felt bad for him and to this day we really don’t know why! LOL

  4. My son sang this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMtZfW2z9dw — except he sang it opera style. So wrong. And still, I couldn’t help laughing.

  5. The Tackler made a very good point. Even a linguist can’t argue that one.

    Love reading your moments!

  6. Bruna says:

    I think it’s great he uses the correct terms for the male and female private parts. My girls do the same. I think it’s better this way.

    Loved reading your stories!

  7. He’s all grown up now, you realize? 🙂

  8. What a sweet pea. 🙂 I’m LOL’g over here.

  9. Ali says:

    You had me at Tallywhacker. Funny!

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