The Ten Minute Rule: Friday’s “What the frak?” Moment

Friday’s “What the frak…?” moment (WTFM) is brought to you by………..

Ten minutes or less: The amount of time you have before your toddler is attacked by another coughing fit, ripping them (and you) from a much needed sleep. More likely to occur the second you or your spouse crawls into bed.

Yes, the Lil Diva has fallen victim to the dreaded Coughing Fits Guaranteed to Interfere with Sleep.

Every day since Monday, I lay my exhausted baby down for a nap. I rush to make my lunch, or do whatever it is I haven’t been able to.

Before ten minutes pass, the tell tale sounds of body wracking coughs trickle over the baby monitor, followed by her cries of frustration, wrenched from sleep again.

Bed time brings a similar pattern. An hour will pass with the ten minute interruptions. She quiets as I pat her back. The moment I’ve returned downstairs, the coughs and cries return.

An hour might pass quietly, before resuming the pattern all over again.

Last night, her psychic powers were at full strength.

10:45 PM

“I’m going to bed,” CG tells me as he kisses me goodnight.

“I’ll be there shortly. I just want to finish this post.”

Within minutes, the One Parent is in Bed Trying to Sleep Alarm triggers and her painful cough echoes over the monitor.

What. The. Frak.

10:50 PM until 2 AM

Exhaustion not seen since Merry Sickmas overcomes me as I alternate between a few minutes of writing, a few minutes of dashing up to comfort the Lil Diva following nasty coughing fits, and instant messages expelling my frustrations.

2:45 AM

I’m still trying to finish the post I began five hours ago that should have taken no more than an hour. Every muscle cries for sleep but the Mommy on High Alert Mode would not let me rest. Sure enough, after forty-five minutes of silence, the coughing begins again, for another thirty minute cycle.

3:20 AM

The words blur. The post is almost done. I have to reread each line three times before it sinks in. I fear typos.

She coughs. She moans. She quiets.

I hit publish and pray my story makes more sense to those who are coherent.

3:55 AM

I crawl into bed, insert ear plugs, and put on head phones. I send CG a message on Facebook to wake me up by 9 AM, because I have a haircut at 10.

CG is on duty now.

8 AM

The sun is up. CG is still in bed. Of course, now Lil Diva sleeps. I close my eyes.

9:50 AM

I wake up. I see the time.

“Why didn’t you wake me at 9? I sent you a message!”

“I figured if you were still sleeping at 9, you really needed it.”

Too true. But still. “I have a haircut in ten minutes. Our neighbor will be here shortly.”

A knock on the door a minute later, as my incredibly awesome neighbor arrives.

I can’t find my wallet.

I grab a checkbook and race out the door.

I’m fifteen minutes late.

I go for a “safe” cut, because choices about drastic haircuts should never be decided after only 5 hours of sleep… multiplied over five nights.

I LOVE my hair cut.

I love the haircut, but I couldn't hide the exhaustion from only 25 hours of sleep over the last five days. Sadly, it will never look this nice again, as I am hopeless with any attempt to "style" it.

And now?

My Lil Diva naps. For the first time all week without it taking place on my lap.

Tonight? I hope to be in bed by 10 PM. CG will be on duty as I hopefully grab ten uninterrupted hours of sleep.

Of course, I’m sure another “what the frak” moment is just waiting to happen.

And on cue, the Lil Diva’s psychic ears burn.

Nap time is over.

Happy frakking Friday, all!

What happened this week that made you say “What the frak?!”

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About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos (www.writingwithchaos.com) sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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12 Responses to The Ten Minute Rule: Friday’s “What the frak?” Moment

  1. Annie says:

    I love the fact CG let you sleep, when you had an appointment. My husband has done the same exact thing, uttering the exact same words! What the frak? When I say get me up, GET ME UP…..LOL. It’s bad enough my kids have selective hearing.

    Hope you can catch up on sleep soon. Your hair looks awesome! I was toying with cutting mine to chin length but seeing yours long I realize my long hair is a keeper.

  2. Your hair looks cute 🙂 Buy a chi 😀

    Sorry about the sick kiddo.

  3. Ummm.. OK… THIS is what you look like with only 25 hours sleep in 5 days?!?!? That is a WHAT THE FRAK Moment! You rock it girl!!! Sending your lil Diva get better soon vibes and lost of good sleep to come your way!

  4. CG says:

    in my defense I don’t check facebook every 5 minutes in the morning. I was busy taking care of children. getting her up at 10 o’clock in the morning was coincidental.

  5. I love the haircut! You don’t look exhausted at all. Or at least you hide it well.

  6. Leighann says:

    Looks wonderful.
    How nice of him to let you sleep.
    My babe is sick now too and it’s exhausting.
    Hope you get lots of sleep

  7. As always, love WTFM…actually, you know I just love Frak and how well you employ it! :> Good for you for getting out for the hair cut, even on lack of sleep and it really looks nice. I never seem to be able to get out for one (partially because they take so long…I have a lot of hair) and finally gave up and now my best friend cuts it a couple times a year, which I love.

    Hmmm….my WTFM? I didn’t sleep much either, but of my own doing. The frak part though was the energy I had the two days after I slept only three hours and then when I got six hours of sleep? The next morning I was seriously dragging. Yes, I get that it caught up with me, but the irony was a serious WTFM!

    Hope your Lil Diva gets better uber fast, so that you all can get some more sleep!! :>

  8. Your WTFM is better than mine.

    Your hair is better than mine.

    And I don’t have sick kids.

    You rock. Because you’re still standing and are looking fab!

  9. Angie says:

    Oh, the coughing/waking saga! We’ve all been there. And it sucks.

    You look ridiculous-good given the lack of sleep – quite annoying actually. 😉

    Hope the kiddo is on the mend. xx

  10. Your hair (cough) looks fabulous! I can’t friggin’ believe (cough) how friggin’ awesome (cough) you look with that little (cough) sleep. It’s ridicu- (cough cough cough hacking cough cough cough) -lous.

    I love this post.

    And I just added you to my blogroll! 😉

    Go see!

  11. Pingback: How a Wallet is Like a Teenager: Friday’s “What the frak?” Moment | Dances with Chaos

  12. Pingback: Grief, Anger, and the Hate Letter | Dances with Chaos

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