How My Children Are Psychically Connected

My son and daughter share a bond, a psychic link.

They magically do things in tandem, often testing my motherly juggling duties to fulfill their needs simultaneously.

Last week, I experienced a new one: Synchronized Potty Filling.

Disclaimer: This post is not for the faint of heart or those feeling any sentence containing the words “excrement,” “crap,” “potty,” “poop,” or any other synonym of these should ever be written.  Much less read.

Imagine, a regular day, like any other. The Tackler and Lil Diva finish their lunches. I ask myself the all important question: When did my son last use the bathroom?

“You should go potty now, sweetie.”

“No, Mommy. I don’t need to go potty.”

“You haven’t gone since breakfast and you’ve had a lot to drink. I think you should go try.”

“NO MOMMY! I DON’T. NEED TO GO. POTTY!”

“Go potty or I’ll take away your DC Superfriends book.”

“You can’t EVER do that!” He begrudgingly stomps to the downstairs bathroom.

A minute or so later, I realize Lil Diva also hasn’t filled her diaper in a while and I’m in the “Danger Post Feeding Zone”. I turn to her.

“Do you need to go potty?”

“Yeah! Pot-teeee!” She grabs my finger and leads me to the bathroom still occupied by my son.

I open the door and see #1 has occurred.

“Ok, wipe and get your pants back on.”

“Get her out of here, Mommy!”

“She needs to use her potty, sweetie.”

“No, get her out. NOW!”

“Do you still need to poop?”

“Yes.”

Well. Okay then.

I usher Lil Diva out of the bathroom and grab the tiny Bjorn potty, placing it in the hallway just outside the bathroom.

She protests the removal from the typically forbidden Room With Toilet Paper To Destroy.

I quickly remove her shoes, socks, pants, and diaper and she sits on her little potty like a pro.

One of the few books Lil Diva will sit through repeatedly.

“I like you a lot, you’re funny and kind, so let me explain what I have in mind. I want to be your personal penguin. I walk right by your side. I want to be your personal penguin. I want to travel with you far and wide.”

I continue reading Sandra Boynton’s book – the one capable of distracting her longer than thirty seconds.

Lil Diva twists. She grunts. She claps her hands.

Nothing.

I finish the first reading. “Are you all done?”

“No!”

She still sits in place so I read the book a second time.

“Are you ready to get dressed?”

“No!”

“Are you trying to go potty?”

“Yeah. Pot-teeeee!”

I read the book for a third time. Noises travel through the bathroom door, indicating my son is “the wiping” phase.

“Do you need help, sweetie?”

“Yes.”

A stench assaults my nose as I hear a soft thud echoing in the hallway. I face Lil Diva again.

“You did it! Good job! You pooped into the potty!”

“Icky!” She bends down to remove her deposit from the container.

“Nonono. Mommy will clean it.”

I try to prevent her from sitting down or leaning on walls as I open the bathroom door to find my son standing on the toilet seat, searching the open cupboards above. I quickly empty Lil Diva’s potty as I see a smear above his butt.

“Sit down, sweetie. I have to help you wipe.”

The Tackler does the first obedient thing all day and plops down onto the toilet. I quickly snatch a disposable wipe to clean Lil Diva while he waits. I wrap her in a diaper in case there’s more and turn back to my son.

Somehow excrement appears in places it should not be and I give him the full wipe down.

We often "measure" our children via brick shots. Here is a very overdue one from a week ago.

The Tackler discovers he doesn’t need his step stool to reach the sink and the three of us lather up and wash our hands – I stifle a sniffle over how my Tackler has grown in just the last year.

The scene leaves me with a twisted sense of déjà vu – The Tackler took almost nine months to turn from a “hider” to one who would use the potty for #2. Six months after I declared him trained, my Lil Diva has successfully done a #2 about five or six times (in the last month). I’m certain more would have occurred, if I’d dropped everything every time she said “potty”.  She has yet to truly pee inside of her little potty – the opposite of my son.

For now, I go with the flow, taking her when she insists (after checking to make sure it hasn’t already occurred, which is the case about 95% of the time), and enjoy having one child who isn’t content to live in diapers until college.

I’d just wish they weren’t quite so synchronized.

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About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos (www.writingwithchaos.com) sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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14 Responses to How My Children Are Psychically Connected

  1. Clay says:

    way to go with the flow. Pot-eeeeee

  2. John says:

    That’s worse than I’ve had to deal with. My son is 17 months and my daughter 9 . . . neither is anywhere close to “potty trained,” as the best we can say is that CJ (the boy) isn’t afraid to flush the toilet) and they’re both oddly fascinated by toilet paper destruction.

    For three baths in a row, I had to deal with the “one kid pooped, and then the other.” I handle about 75% of bath times (my wife is stay-at-home, so if I’m home at night, most of the “parenting” comes to me, but it’s time with the kids which, secretly, I enjoy). First, it was the boy – scrunch “ooop” and floater. Get it, clean him up as well as I can, look down & see that the girl is now in very dirty water. “Hmmmm, I thought I got things in time,” whoops . . . repeat the whole bath. For three baths in a row.

    • Toilet paper destruction – I know it well. My son forgets to close the bathroom door, usually after I’ve just replaced the roll… Then Lil Diva is too quiet, but then it’s too late.

      My husband experiences a similar “parenting” exchange at night also. He does baths/showers, and has had a few incidents with Lil Diva (few with The Tackler at that age). Not quite to that degree though, my sympathies.

      Thanks for commenting! I love your stories.

  3. Kelsey says:

    So strange… I was just telling Kris that my two like to share in the magic of having a poo together…

    I’m happy my family isn’t the only potty synchronized group out there! Also, incredibly jealous of your potty success… We’re having a rough go!

  4. you brought back such memories for me. memories of crazy potty moments and wiping moments. ugh. i applaud your ‘go with the flow’ attitude and am sending you lots of visions of unclogged toilets in the future.

  5. My sister in law had the same experience with her oldest (son) and 2-years-younger daughter. Wanting to be like her older brother, she dragged out his potty and practically trained herself around the age of 20 months or so. Then there was the time they found her in front of the “bigboy-” toilet, trying to figure out how to go standing up…

    • That is a priceless image.

      I haven’t taught my song to go while standing up. I know my husband showed him a few times, after which I reprimanded him for it, unless he wanted to scrub the potty every night… My son needs to be just a bit taller for aiming purposes. The toilet is so tall, he either can’t reach, or stands on stool and is way too high for his aiming skills.

      I have every hope one day Lil Diva will determine “I don’t want to wear diapers anymore” and will self-train herself has she’s done with so many other skills.

  6. Ilana says:

    I am about to buy a potty for Mazzy and I am terrified. I have heard that I will be spending lots of time cleaning poop off the floor. AWESOME.

    • If you don’t turn your back or make the mistake of looking away, or having to run for wipes because they aren’t in the bathroom, then you can avoid a lot of poop on the floor.

      Be glad you have a girl. Aiming was so much fun to deal with (still is, and will be until he moves out of the house, or so I’m told).

      I love the Bjorn potty chair- small and easy to clean. Also, the clean insert makes a great “puke” bowl when the stomach viruses hit… Too many of them are not well designed, especially for boys.

      Is Mazzy showing interest?

  7. Ironic Mom says:

    My twins go poo at the same time regularly. Thankfully, we have more than one toilet.

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