Someone get this frakking battery off this muthafrakking plane: Friday’s “What the frak?” Moment

Friday’s “What the frak…?” moment (WTFM) is brought to you by………..

The tiny lithium battery for our camera: Perfectly acceptable to reside within your camera when you fly, but (evidently) more dangerous than sewing kit scissors, over 4 ounces of liquid, or a bomb when outside of the camera shell.

As mentioned on my To Do List, CG diagnosed our camera with a bad internal battery*, and for two months dragged his feet to order it. Why?

Cost of tiny lithium ion battery: $1.70

Cost of shipping lithium ion battery because the United States Postal Service classifies it as hazardous as anthrax and they WILL NOT let you use them: ~$9.00 via UPS  – who sneered in the face of danger.

I finally threatened to buy a new camera if he didn’t bite the bullet and the exponential price difference.

A “what the frak” moment itself.

Then yesterday, The Scary Box arrived.

I about lost it.

We’re talking collapsing on the floor hysterical laughter.

Allow me to show you why.

Below is a photo of The Scary Box. Circled in red is The Dangerous Battery from inside the box – yes, it looks more like a dirt smudge in the photo.

Read the warning labels. Do it now. Is anyone else blown away by the ridiculous overkill?

Yes, it really is that small.

Tissue paper is heavier.

Did you read the label?

“FORBIDDEN FOR TRANSPORT ABOARD PASSENGER AIRCRAFT”

What. The. Frak.

Airplanes allow: laptops, mobile devices, and cameras.

As CARRY-ON LUGGAGE.

Many of these contain lithium batteries.

Yet when traveling alone, away from the protective plastic coating of their intended device and the humans that abuse them, a lithium battery somehow mutates into a weapon so dangerous it can’t even hitch a ride in the belly of the plane!

I see another Samuel L. Jackson movie in the future: “Batteries on a Plane.”

Seriously, what the frak!

*Note: The battery enabled the camera to turn on, but it still says “busy” instead of recording an image. All the drama and no working SLR camera. I’m dying here.

Did you have a “what the frak” moment this week?

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About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos (www.writingwithchaos.com) sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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22 Responses to Someone get this frakking battery off this muthafrakking plane: Friday’s “What the frak?” Moment

  1. Hahahahahaha! My laugh for the day! Though I feel VERY sad for being camera-less. Your photography is beautiful and I’ve definitely been missing it.

  2. “…a lithium battery somehow mutates into a weapon so dangerous it can’t even hitch a ride in the belly of the plane.” Funny. Yet they’ll let small children on planes. WTFM?

    This reminds me of Happy Fun Ball: http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/happy-fun-ball/229058/?__cid=thefilter

  3. John says:

    Wow, wow, wow . . . I’m absolutely speechless. Yeah, lithium batteries are in EVERYTHING – how is a “raw” one possibly any worse than it might be in a laptop (which has a place for the storage of a lithium battery AND some of the space could be used to smuggle undocumented shampoo as well).

  4. Kir says:

    that is truly WHAT THE FRAK???

    and my whole week has been a what the frak moment, there are just too many to count. *sigh*

    happy friday Kelly!

  5. Emily says:

    holy crap, that is hilarious!!

  6. julie says:

    Is that a silhouette of a glass of wine there to the left of the scary flame and other such ominous illustrations?

    I don’t get what wine has to do with anything in that box, but it is Friday.

    So cheers ~

    (and also? this is hilarious!)

  7. Katie says:

    Seriously, get thee to a camera store (preferably a locally-owned one)! They are amazing places with people who know everything about SLR cameras!

  8. Ironic Mom says:

    You were right, Kelly. I am laughing.

    A perfect WTFM.

    I’m surprised it didn’t come with a dog to sniff the package.

  9. I had no idea that the post office wouldn’t deliver those batteries or that they were considered such a menace on airplanes once they were freed from their ubiquitous electronic devices. What do they think the case of a laptop is made of to keep us all safe from danger. Kryptonite? Makes no sense at all!

    • I know, right!

      Back in “the old days” (before 9-11-01 here), people used to check their cameras and laptops because you could lock your luggage and feel reasonably certain your items would remain safe.

      I’m certain their batteries were not removed.

      Now it is rarely done, because your valuable items will get “lost”.

      I’m pretty sure when the camera was shipped to me (bought off Amazon) there was no such warning on the box.

      Protective casing indeed.

  10. kris says:

    Wow.

    That is awesomely fabulous.

    Just fabulous.

  11. Pingback: The Blue-haired Visitors. | Dances with Chaos

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