Top 10 Insane Reasons to Want A(nother) Baby

Hilarious face on my four month old about the Top 10 List

10.   Everybody else is “doing it”.

9.    If you keep popping them out, you’ll eventually have your own show on TLC.

8.   You completed your taxes and discover another tax deduction would be very useful.

7.   You want a matched set.

Angelina Jolie, J Lo, and Ironic Mom: they all have a matched set.

6.   Your kids will be in school and your spouse is already hinting about getting a “real” job.

5.  You’ve bought stock in Pampers and want to keep them in business.

4.   Pregnancy instantly re-inflates what two nursing children sucked from you plus a little bonus – the all natural boob job.

3.   You haven’t had a chance to blog about a pregnancy yet.

2.   You’re tired of mowing the lawn and other grunt work.

1.   You have a pet/child already, how hard can a(nother) child be?

What other insane reasons did I miss???

——

*It should be noted I do NOT wish to have another baby (at least 99.9% of the time), but I showered at home today (meaning mirrors + nudity), and couldn’t help thinking item #4 would be handy the inspiration for this post.
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About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos (www.writingwithchaos.com) sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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38 Responses to Top 10 Insane Reasons to Want A(nother) Baby

  1. Mediocre Mom says:

    This is hilarious. I’m a stay at home mom of three and actually thought the other day, “Man, I wish I was blogging back when I was pregnant.” My husband and I have joked that each baby is a brand new tax deduction (though of course they are far more than that). We also frequently reference the TLC specials and how families with 19 kids are making bank and living large. Three down, 16 to go…

    • It’s funny how there is truth to the insanity.

      If I makes you feel any better, I think the Duggars were “discovered” when they were either 15 or 16 kids “and counting” so you’re really only 12 or 13 away. Much more manageable, especially if you toss a couple of twins in there.

      Thanks for reading. Your comment had me smiling.

  2. I’m a fan of the ‘kids are in school time to get a job’ reason.

  3. Greta says:

    I just fulfilled the boob job and blogging reasons. How about the “tired of changing the cat litter” excuse?

  4. I haven’t had my first baby yet… but these all seem like pretty good reasons to get going, except for #4 because my nice rack is one of my best features. I laughed out loud at #6, though. I think being a SAHM would be far more taxing than my supposedly “real” job!

  5. educlaytion says:

    Funny stuff Kelly! You’ll get plenty of eyeballs on this one 🙂

  6. I’m gonna need to have two kids, so the first one has someone to entertain him or her.

  7. I pop one out every 2 years so that getting a real job wasn’t mentioned…Now after 5 years of diaper changes, breastfeeding, teething, sleepless nights, etc. *I* am the one hinting about a real job.

  8. Will add one more:
    “Because I have total baby gear envy of today’s new moms” – why does all the cool baby gear shit come out after I have kids? Where was that little electronic feeding/pooping tracking device when I needed it?

    • I actually had that reason, and then traded it out for another. Top 11 or 12 just doesn’t have the same ring as Top 10.

      I am with you on the new stuff. I even had some between my son and daughter. “Where was THIS when he was a baby?!?!”

      I’m loving these additions.

  9. Nichole says:

    Okay, your list is so many kinds of awesome.
    I especially liked #6.
    And what about those Pampers points!? If you want that big gift, you need more codes!

  10. Kir says:

    I already have #7 (LOL) and definately #4,(My best features?) I was blogging when I was PG but didn’t write about it at all….hmmmmm, and I have a job outside the house. I think my #1 reasons would be that tax deduction and my stock in Huggies. 🙂

    this was so funny!

  11. I readily admit I was in the game for baby #2 for the boobs. Seriously, why didn’t anyone tell me about the post nursing boobs?

    • I recall being told “they would never be the same” but the reality of what that meant I was not prepared for.

      If only there was a pill to take to give you the pregnancy boobs without the actual pregnancy, baby, morning sickness, and 20-70 lb weight gain.

  12. John says:

    Wait, people are “doing it” after having a first? Really? I think you’re making that part up.

  13. Ironic Mom says:

    I’m just chuffed at being included in the same sentence as JLo and Angelina. Pretty sure that hasn’t happened before, unless it also included the phrase, “the opposite of.”

    Fab post, Kelly. I’m laughing up here in Canada, eh!

  14. Natalie says:

    I have another one! Super cute maternity clothes….they don’t even look like maternity clothes anymore!

    And #1 is the absolute truth, isn’t it? And it’s totally wrong!

    • I have heard of these clothes, but think I had a minor heart attack when glancing at the price tags.

      In way, that could be its own justification. “I need to have another baby because I haven’t gotten enough use out of my maternity clothes.”

      Many a smack upside the head has occurred for daring to believe in #1. Then it is too late (insert evil cackle here)…

      Thanks for reading!

  15. Jessica says:

    So funny. My husband keeps hinting at number 6. Instead of having another baby though I’m just going to stay in school. Can you say Dr. Jessica???

  16. Leigh Ann says:

    Excellent reasons! I find myself missing holding a tiny little baby. Not missing the sleepless nights and unstoppable crying. She’s way more fun as a 13 month old.

    • I think missing the snugly little baby isn’t quite as insane as most of the items listed. I think that reason guarantees the continuation of our species.

      And the mommy brain, that forgets those silly sleepless nights, colic, diaper disasters, and teething.

      We can’t help it. It’s evolutionary.

      My Lil Diva is also way more fun now. Luckily by the time she hits school age, I’ll think I’m too old to be pregnant.

      I hope. Or the tick tock insane reasons might begin anew.

  17. Ilana says:

    Wait a second! Is this a real thing we are talking about? Love #3 and #9. I’m all about using children for your own personal gain!

  18. Mandyland says:

    You nailed it! Most of those are reasons why I’m starting to get baby fever. 🙂

  19. Mama Track says:

    Fun list. And why not?

  20. Pingback: PTP 5: Ferris Bueller Edition « EduClaytion

  21. Right? Because love handles fail to exist beneath the baby bump.

  22. Pingback: The Difference of a Year | Dances with Chaos

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