This post is brought to you by me, CG, and the blender in my son’s brain.
The Digestive System According to my 4 Year Old
The following is a true re-enactment of one night’s bath time between CG and The Tackler.
“Daddy, when I brush my teeth, the food comes back up and I spit it out and it is blue.”
That is the toothpaste, not your food.
“But I need to make room for more food.”
That is why you poop, dear.
“But when I eat the food, it goes down in my chomping thing and it CHOMPS and mixes up the food. And then I eat more food.”
The Blender in the Brain
My son’s imagination unfolds like this:
- He takes every story, book, movie, and TV show he’s ever watched.
- Shoves them into the blender hidden deep inside his brain.
- Hits “chop”.
- Forgets to put on the lid.
- All of the ideas, concepts, and characters fly everywhere – creating a nearly unrecognizable scenario to most of the world, but viewable in perfect clarity for him.
A week ago, CG came downstairs still laughing at another one of his son’s “blended” imagination streaks.
“Write it down before you forget it.” I said.
The following is courtesy of my husband listening to me (for a change) and keying in the memory before it vanished.
Tonight “Action Chugger” (a random Thomas-universe train, repurposed – I know, typecasting is a bitch) flew on a mission to connect Earth to Mars to Jupiter with a rail system – to save some people.
Because that is what “Action Chuggers” do.
This consisted of some sort of rail network forming a ramp to enable trains lacking flight ability to jump that far (Action Chugger has rockets).
Then it was time for an adventure with Daddy.
We traveled into someone’s body to kick the germs out. We began in the person’s mouth and throat (the bathroom sink), and slid down to their stomach (the master bathtub), so we could view a sign to pinpoint how to get to their feet (where the germs are, obviously).
You have to love 4 year old blender brain.
Popcorn as an Explosive Device
Sunday night I returned home from Zumba class and my son rushed to my side.
“Mommy, we have to make popcorn!”
I test to make sure it is not a trick. I called up to CG. “Honey, did you say it was OK for him to eat popcorn?”
You don’t have to tell me twice.
The Tackler naturally wanted to “help”. As I measured out the popcorn he asked:
“Are we going to use the popcorn to explode the windows and blow up the house?”
I paused, momentarily at a loss for words on what inspired this idea. “No.”
“Ohhh.. Okaaaay,” he said, his disappointment evident.
CG later informed me he allowed The Tackler to watch a Mythbusters episode where they tested popcorn’s explosive abilities.
Knowing the ingredients in my son’s blender, suddenly the spatter pattern made perfect sense.
And a request to CG for no more Mythbusters with explosions.
I should not have to worry about my microwave transforming into a weapon filled with popcorn ammunition.
Not until he’s seven at least.