Building a World with Blendered Bits: Tacklerism Tuesday

This post is brought to you by me, CG, and the blender in my son’s brain.

The Digestive System According to my 4 Year Old

The following is a true re-enactment of one night’s bath time between CG and The Tackler.

“Daddy, when I brush my teeth, the food comes back up and I spit it out and it is blue.”

That is the toothpaste, not your food.

“But I need to make room for more food.”

That is why you poop, dear.

“But when I eat the food, it goes down in my chomping thing and it CHOMPS and mixes up the food.  And then I eat more food.”

(silence)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The Blender in the Brain

My son’s imagination unfolds like this:

  • He takes every story, book, movie, and TV show he’s ever watched.
  • Shoves them into the blender hidden deep inside his brain.
  • Hits “chop”.
  • Forgets to put on the lid.
  • All of the ideas, concepts, and characters fly everywhere – creating a nearly unrecognizable scenario to most of the world, but viewable in perfect clarity for him.

    "Shhh... My blender is mixing."

A week ago, CG came downstairs still laughing at another one of his son’s “blended” imagination streaks.

“Write it down before you forget it.” I said.

The following is courtesy of my husband listening to me (for a change) and keying in the memory before it vanished.

Tonight “Action Chugger” (a random Thomas-universe train, repurposed – I know, typecasting is a bitch) flew on a mission to connect Earth to Mars to Jupiter with a rail system – to save some people.

Because that is what “Action Chuggers” do.

This consisted of some sort of rail network forming a ramp to enable trains lacking flight ability to jump that far (Action Chugger has rockets).

Then it was time for an adventure with Daddy.

We traveled into someone’s body to kick the germs out.  We began in the person’s mouth and throat (the bathroom sink), and slid down to their stomach (the master bathtub), so we could view a sign to pinpoint how to get to their feet (where the germs are, obviously).

You have to love 4 year old blender brain.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Popcorn as an Explosive Device

Sunday night I returned home from Zumba class and my son rushed to my side.

“Mommy, we have to make popcorn!”

I test to make sure it is not a trick. I called up to CG. “Honey, did you say it was OK for him to eat popcorn?”

“Yes!”

You don’t have to tell me twice.

The Tackler naturally wanted to “help”. As I measured out the popcorn he asked:

“Are we going to use the popcorn to explode the windows and blow up the house?”

I paused, momentarily at a loss for words on what inspired this idea. “No.”

My son shares my love of this magical food - but I was unprepared to view it as an explosive.

“Ohhh.. Okaaaay,” he said, his disappointment evident.

CG later informed me he allowed The Tackler to watch a Mythbusters episode where they tested popcorn’s explosive abilities.

Knowing the ingredients in my son’s blender, suddenly the spatter pattern made perfect sense.

And a request to CG for no more Mythbusters with explosions.

I should not have to worry about my microwave transforming into a weapon filled with popcorn ammunition.

Not until he’s seven at least.

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About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos (www.writingwithchaos.com) sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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12 Responses to Building a World with Blendered Bits: Tacklerism Tuesday

  1. HA! That’s a little boy for you! The blender doesn’t fade away with age, either. At least, not that I’ve seen yet. 😉

  2. Jessica says:

    With that blender brain I think it is a good idea that the Tackler not be allowed to watch anymore Mythbusters.

  3. Paige Morgan says:

    I love the popcorn explosions! I thought for sure you were going to say he watched Real Genius with Val Kilmer.

  4. kir says:

    Oh those stories were so creative. What a great little brain he has.

  5. educlaytion says:

    You won’t even explode the house one time with popcorn for your little boy? What kind of parent are you? 🙂

  6. I was famous for complete non-sequiturs when I was young. My parents were forever looking at me in complete puzzlement and asking, “What on earth are you talking about?” I just didn’t get that people weren’t “in” on my internal monologue and wondered why they couldn’t keep up!

    My thoughts are only slightly more organized these days, but I’ve learned to keep my oddities to myself.

    P.S. Popcorn is my favorite snack too.

    • Popcorn is a magical food. I was raised on it.

      I love your non sequiter story. I often think my son wonders why I can’t just read his mind, and by the time he speaks, he’s already annoyed I don’t understand.

      Thanks for reading!

  7. Ironic Mom says:

    I think I have Blender Brain. Love that image. Brilliant.

  8. Emily says:

    Love the Longhorn shirt btw! The Hare likes to watch Dirty Jobs with DW. Imagine how much fun the conversation was after she watched a cow being inseminated. “Mom, I hope you asked for a girls doctor to put that long tube in you”. “Yes…yes I did.”

  9. Elena says:

    I love this! Oh, the things kids come up with. Glad you decided to eat the popcorn, instead of use it as an explosive device!

  10. MamaTrack says:

    Totally funny. And so like kids!

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