Desired Dining Destinations: Friday’s “What the frak?” Moment

Friday’s “What the frak…?” moment (WTFM) is brought to you by………..

Desired Dining Destination as Designated by a Lil Diva: Because location is everything.

Dining out at a restaurant, an hierarchy of “preferred seating” exists: the quiet romantic booth in the corner trumps the breezy one by the front door, but both are better than the clattering din of the table with a clear view of the kitchen.

Lil Diva has an I Will Only Eat This Food At This Location Or I Will Scream My Banshee Wail, Throw Food Upon the Floor, and Make Your Life Miserable opinion about many of her foods.

If I’m feeding her at the kid’s picnic table (inside), I must sit next to her at that table. I cannot sit upon the ground, a chair, or stand. To do so, or attempt to do so, equals the aforementioned behavior.

Sampling the fine cuisine of Breakfast Yogurt with Daddy has its own dictate: the yogurt must be devoured outside on the kid’s outdoor picnic table.

Or else.

I’m not sure how this began, only that “it is”.

To avoid a battle over such an innocent thing, CG and I yield to these simple demands, shake our heads, and wonder, “What the frak…?

What have your children/spouse/friends said or done this week to make you go, “What the frak??”

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About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos (www.writingwithchaos.com) sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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19 Responses to Desired Dining Destinations: Friday’s “What the frak?” Moment

  1. haha That’s cute.

    And, also? What haven’t they done??? I’m afraid I’ve not been as kind with the phrasing as you are here, though. =\

  2. Katie says:

    Yes Jake does the same thing. All food eaten by anyone must be consumed in a particular manner and in a particular place. He’s very bossy and let’s us know if we’re doing it wrong. Must be the age…

    • Now that I remember, The Tackler was the same way, just about completely different things. Heaven forbid you don’t cut his sandwich the right direction….

      Nice to know I’m not the only one with bossy toddler. 🙂

      Wait until you have two.. (bwahaha!)

  3. Ironic Mom says:

    So much of our life (good and bad) revolves around food. May you get through the bad times quickly.

    I spent twenty minutes yesterday explaining sarcasm to Vivian, launching examples at her like I was in a rock throwing contest. Of course, today I have 20/20 hindsight and realize that I’m going to regret this, big time. (And for once I’m not being sarcastic!)

    • I do believe your daughter has inherited your sarcastic snark already – even if she does not yet understand the meaning of sarcasm.

      The food is interesting: when she wants it and isn’t getting it, ALL of the ugly comes out. As soon as you acquiesce or finish feeding her, she’s the charming Diva, bestowing love upon all who meet her: total Jekyll/Hyde.

      I just smile and try to remember that I’m a bit picky about my food too…. 🙂

  4. Kir says:

    oh that is soooo funny. I mean it’s not, but she’s not mine, so it is. LOL

    on Sat we were in NYC, Jacob was “tapping” in his new lightening McQueen boots, he told me that he couldn’t put his monkey lease/backpack on because “I can’t tap with my monkey on mommy” What the FRAK???? 😉

  5. Leighann says:

    My child has started hiding food beside her in her high chair. This includes the sippy cup.
    She thinks she’s quite stealthy.

    PS. Lil Divas is adorable outside on the table.

    • Lil Diva went through a “toss Cheerios on the floor as though I’m no longer hungry” then “eat the off the floor as soon as released from high chair” phase for a while.

      Now she just stomps on them.

      I think she’s cute too. Slight bias.

      They love to feel sneaky – I think that’s why peek-a-boo is such a hit.

  6. Carri says:

    hahaha I’m so sorry I’m laughing at this but…. hahahahaha! But yes, I do have my own little monster to contend with, and he has his own list of demands.
    Oh, and this weekend we started climbing out of the crib! Good times.

    • I dread the day the Diva does that. She’s been close for ages and is a little monkey. Luckily, her slightly-below 50% height average works to my favor…

      Glad it made you laugh. “What the frak?” Fridays are good for that: laughing at what has me saying that this week.

      If you ever have a bad day, I highly recommend reading old “WTFM” posts – especially in January and December – when my life saw fit to “throw a topic into my lap” repeatedly on Friday….

      Thanks for stopping by and having a nice link up.

  7. Sarah says:

    My oldest son (now 9) would only eat babyfood out of a jar IF THE LABEL WAS FACING HIM. Not like he could read it or anything! Sheesh! Little people can be so silly!

    Stopping by from Carri’s Sunday Funday!

  8. Jessica says:

    I have no idea what makes kids so picky about the location of where they will eat but my toddler does the same thing. She will only eat oatmeal if I am sitting in the chair in the living room and she is in my lap.

  9. bobbijaye says:

    You forgot to mention that deviation from this routine results in food items/cups/forks/spoons/toys being hurled violently to the floor with a force that indicates the Munch will one day be a pro softball player.

    Yup. That part is always fun.

  10. botut says:

    My first behaved like this, the second somewhat and by the time the third came along he knew survial depended on his ablity to craft together a PB&J….and so he did!
    Great site!

  11. Dana K says:

    L O L

    I have the exact opposite problem. My 1 yr old will eat anything, anytime, any place: food, kleenex, dog hair, cat food, toenail clippings, dryer lint, plastic, pine cones, rocks…

    I have eating-related what the frak moments on a daily basis. :-/

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