The Vengeful Valentine’s Day – How Holidays Hate Me

It began with insomnia.

My eyes were heavy, requiring Herculean effort to keep them awake.

At 11 PM.

So I crawled into bed and waited for sleep to overtake me.

And waited.

And waited.

An hour later I left the bed, my frustrations at my brain’s refusal to SHUT UP jolting me with another wind.

I might as well write if I couldn’t sleep.

Ninety minutes later, I collapsed into bed, a zombie from accruing five nights of this.

Ten minutes.  Fifteen minutes.

An hour passed – my mind still refusing to shut down.

I tried music. Counting backwards. Unblock Me – my favorite iPod app for quieting my brain enough so I can’t think. I read a book on the Nook application – the act of trying to keep my eyes open usually enough to convince them to fall asleep.

It was likely close to 3 AM before my brain finally relented and let me slide into blissful oblivion.

The beginning of my Valentine’s Day.

CG awoke to the early Valentine greeting of the screaming banshee – at 5:30 AM – while I remained comatose.

When I awoke, it was after only five hours of sleep – an evil repetition of the previous five nights – since my sinuses threw a temper tantrum.

I’m not sure how I walked down the stairs. I wished CG a happy Valentine’s Day, my voice the mere croak of the troll hiding under the bridge.

The morning teased me, pretending it would get better.

I lugged myself and the kids to the gym for my strength class – the least “fun” but the most needed of all the classes I do.

It kicked my ass, but it in a good way. I left the room feeling refreshed – energized even as my legs wanted to give out.

The showers were hot, and someone gave me their shampoo – mine MIA from my bag.

All was going along just fine, until I walked into the child care.

And found a form waiting for me to sign.

Another Incident Report.

The Tackler had been working on earning a new nickname: The Shover (I’d say Pusher, but that just brings to mind a four year old drug supplier of Flintstones vitamins and antibiotics).

So his Valentine’s Day present to me? Not chocolates, or sharing a piece of “his” candy, nope.  I received another three day ban from the gym – meaning I can’t go back until Friday.

No shower. No cathartic workout. Able to return on his birthday – a day I’d planned not to go.

My Lil Diva didn’t want to be left out of the Valentine’s Day fun, so she promptly filled her diaper instead of falling asleep on the way home – an act that somehow energized her more than consuming a pot of expresso.

Thanks to this lovely side effect, she fought her nap in a battle that raged the full fifteen rounds. Just like in the first Rocky, there wasn’t a clear winner. I was forced to let her scream her head off for ten minutes or risk her passing out at 5 PM or skipping a nap all together – just the icing CG and I needed after our sleep deprived nights – the perfect cherry on top of our oh-so-romantic Valentine’s Day.

So my Valentine’s Day this year is right up there with the one from third grade, where I missed my Valentine’s Day school party (back when you were allowed to bring in baked goods) – thanks to a good old fashioned case of the chicken pox.

Mother’s guilt? Frustration, at wits end, and urge to send child to boot camp? Privileges and my only chance to have Me Time during the day ripped away from me?

Check, check, and check.

Most likely slain by The Tackler for daring to fly like Buzz Lightyear.

The only way to salvage this day is to bake my favorite brownies – where I slide into the Evil Mommy category because there is no way The Tackler is getting a single bite – even if he helps me bake them – when he’s as close to “grounded” as you can have an almost four year old.

So to my family, who keeps calling with voice mails filled with cheer and joy – sorry if I don’t answer.

It’s a Vengeful V-day for me.

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About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos (www.writingwithchaos.com) sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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7 Responses to The Vengeful Valentine’s Day – How Holidays Hate Me

  1. educlaytion says:

    When you’re going through a tough run like the one you’ve had you need to find a way to laugh. I hope you can get a nice relaxing night in!

    • We might actually venture outside. It’s about 74 degrees out and the kids tend to be happier outdoors – especially Lil Diva.

      Of course, she’s still napping and soon I will have to do the other Evil Parent thing of Wake Up Sleeping Baby or They Won’t Sleep Tonight….

      “Relaxing” rarely fits into any evening of ours, but that would be a nice gift.

      Writing here is my way to laugh – or I’d be in a padded cell about now…

      Your cupid shot did make me smile again, so thanks for that. 🙂

  2. Paige Morgan says:

    I plan to write about my equally un-romantic valentine’s day, if I can only find the energy. I am sorry you’re having such a tough day, hang in there!

  3. Ironic Mom says:

    Well, your day topped mine, I’m thankful to say. My dear husband – who does most of the midweek cooking – made me the worst meal I’ve had in a while. Thankfully, we laughed about it. The bad days often make better stories. In that vein, may your tomorrow be event-less; you deserve it!

    Wishing you and your children hours and hours of sleep.

    Leanne

    • I find blogging about the bad days not only therapeutic for me while decreasing the possibility I’ll lock my children or myself in a closet, but it also provides a service to those who stumble upon my blog. It brings readers, such as yourself, a flood of relief and gratitude: that my day was not their/your day.

      If you could send the message of “don’t wake up before 8 AM” to my kids, I would be most appreciative – as my daughter squeaks in her crib, fighting sleep after the delayed nap…

      Thank you for making me laugh too.

  4. I wanted to comment because you need everyone to give you a virtual hug and tell you that this will pass and these days will be a distant memory … in fact, somehow we block them all together as the years go by – I promise.
    Now please don’t look at my blog today, because I posted something nice about Valentine’s and it would be an awful beginning to our relationship if you started it by hating me 😉

  5. Pingback: Birthday Boy in the Mirror – Trapped in Time Moment and Part 3 of Exorcising Terrible Threes | Dances with Chaos

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