Friday was One Of Those Days You Just Want to Lock Yourself In Your Room And Take a Nap while your children somehow feed and entertain themselves without killing each other.
Saturday I woke up. Late.
And it hit me.
My baby girl had turned 16 months – yesterday.
Instantly, I was riddled with guilt. How could I have forgotten one of her monthly markers prior to reaching two years old?
Where had the time gone?
How could we have possibly gone from this:
To this –>
Where is the Freeze Time Button on the Growing Up Remote?
She has changed so much just in the last month that I sense her babyhood slipping away before I’m ready for it.
I swear I already see that inner teenager peering out of her eyes.
Just in the last month she has:
- Easily uttered elegant elocution of the word “No” – typically accompanied by a violent shaking of the head that would do any heavy metal goer proud.
- Created the “Specific Point, Grunt, Swipe Away and Screech System” – while it has existed in minor form for months, just recently she had tweaked this system into a very effective form of communicating exactly what she wants. Example: on the kitchen table you have her cup of milk, some Cheerios, and banana. After voraciously shoveling Cheerios into her mouth like I used to consume popcorn, suddenly the Cheerios will be swiped to the floor. Then a guttural “I sound like a monkey” noise paired with frenzied pointing at the banana is performed. You mistakenly believe she wishes to have milk because you weren’t paying attention to where exactly she pointed and bring the cup into range, only to have it knocked out of your hands for failing to hold it tight enough. Along with The Swipe, you are scolded “No. No. No.” As she reinforces this with the shaking of her head, she once again Specifically Points at the banana, this time releasing a banshee type screech as if to say, “Look where I’m pointing, it couldn’t be more clear. Just give me the damn banana and nobody gets hurt.” Finally you get the message and correctly give her a slice of banana.
- Used aforementioned method for everything: toys, cell phones not hidden from view, her brother, and the refrigerator.
- Nominated and won for the best You Don’t Love Me Because You Won’t Bow to My Every Wish Like Carry Me Around for Three Hours Wail. Performed for her
headache ridden exhausted frustratedadoring audience frequently, especially when teething.
- Passed various stages of cutting all four molars: each one has at least partially broken through, but still have a ways to go before the gums are fully broken through. As you can imagine, this has made for some
exhausting long hair pulling up at 2 AMinteresting nights.
- Turned into a Parrot: suddenly words are spewing out of her mouth – just after you say them. Good thing we’ve toned down the cursing since the Tackler hit this phase….
- Mastered Monkey See Monkey Do: No longer is peekaboo the only thing she’ll imitate. Suddenly, everything is fair game as she hones her acting craft. This new skill is one The Tackler loves – he finds it hysterical when Lil Diva imitates his shenanigans. The Tackler fulfills his role of mentor by focusing on such vital skills as: spitting, climbing things taller than she is, and teaching her his favorite game of Run Around like a Maniac While Screeching at Top of Your Lungs. This has resulted in my buying stock in migraine reducing medications.
- Become Bequeather of Blown Thank You’s and Uh-ohs: If there are two things she still loves saying over the new found “no,” they are transforming blown kisses into the sign for “thank you” while actually saying “thank you” (sort of) and spouting “Uh-oh” whenever anything was dropped onto the floor – usually on purpose – just so she could say “Uh-oh.”
Other “milestones” remain the same. She is still part monkey, climbing on every surface she can reach. She still adores her brother, despite continued teasing at his hands. She is already demanding a cell phone and iPod.
She loves to use Twitter and I have to be vigilant in closing the Twitter window when leaving my computer so I don’t return with followers wondering why “jagkjlasg0138957aw” and “15-0jl//shgk” were vital tweets.
Who knows what she’ll be into next month….
I can’t wait to find out.
But I still want to find that Grow Up Remote.
Happy 16 month, Lil Diva.