Kennel Trained Toddlers
As most of you know, last Thursday was Thanksgiving in the United States: a holiday where we are thankful to be able to eat 5000 calories in one day because the food is simply too good to pass up.
This year was no different, calorie wise. What was different was the location.
We were invited to our next door neighbors’ house – the only people who have ever cooked a turkey I actually consumed seconds on as I am not a turkey fan. And while the turkey was delicious, the location brought about a small problem….
Their home was not child proofed. While they had two children, those children were now college age and older – so it was perfectly acceptable to have glass figurines out on the coffee tables.
It was a full time job wrangling The Tackler and Lil’ Diva away from all of the imminent disasters waiting to happen.
Except upstairs in the game room area. Where there were no games or toys (to The Tackler’s utmost disappointment – his playroom is in our game room). Instead, an item rested there that every parent of toddlers should own: a giant dog kennel.
No, I did not force my children inside. Both of them entered willingly.
And yes, me, the evil mommy, then locked them into the cage until dinner was ready in an attempt to not break anything while we were there.
Don’t worry, it was only about five minutes. Maybe ten. Probably somewhere in between.
While The Tackler did attempt escaping, Lil’ Diva was perfectly content in her new “home.”
No trauma was caused during this “lock-in” because later that evening he turned to CG and told him,
“Mommy said I can get my own cage for Christmas!”
A falsehood, but I’m now reconsidering it as a brilliant idea. Obviously the parenting books have missed the benefits of kennel training toddlers.
Lactating Belly Buttons
Then earlier this week, as The Tackler and Lil Diva played their game of Show Me the Belly Button, The Tackler turned to me and said:
“I’m going to give her the milk out of here.”
and then he pointed at his belly button.
Five minutes later – after I finally quelled the bouts of laughter that prevented me from formulating an articulate response – I explained that belly buttons do not produce milk. And even if they did, only a Mommy’s belly button would produce it – not a brother’s.
Which reminded me of this photo I took a year ago.
A perfect re-enactment of my set up while I nursed Lil’ Diva about ten hours out of the day: laptop next to me, boppy pillow, and my Lil’ Diva. As no dolls were in the house at the time, a penguin substituted for the baby role.
After explaining only Mommies used their bodies to feed babies, we demonstrated the Daddy way.
What has your child said this week that had you shaking your head in either wonderment or laughter? Or both.