Time always moves at the same speed. A minute is always sixty seconds. Sixty minutes is always an hour. Twenty-four hours always equals a day – except on the cursed Time Change Days.
Yet another reason to get rid of them.
But if time is so consistent – why does it feel like it is zooming past me faster than ludicrous speed?
My baby girl is 14 months old today – and by today, I mean yesterday, when I started writing this post.
I’m still debating the mathematical possibility that I’m somehow caught in a odd time warp where time moves faster every day.
Except for occasional days like this, where my proximity to an invisible black hole causes time to slow to a crawl and I countdown the seconds until CG gets home and bedtime.
I swear, just the other day she was just a helpless baby, determined to chomp off your finger using the sheer force of her gums.
Now she’s a Lil’ Diva plotting to take over the world. Or at least the picnic table.
In honor of her surviving The Terribly Tenacious Tackling Toddler for another month, this post is dedicated to her.
My Lil’ Diva at 14 Months Old
- Has learned the art of proper descent on the picnic table. While she does occasionally go back to her Grunt, Whine, & Stomp Feet method to call me over to the table, offer her my hands, and help her down – she is fully capable of doing it on her own. This is a skill I am grateful for, as previously I was on call constantly – helping her down every minute.
- Has discovered the necessary skills to climb on top of the toy chest – which allows her to climb onto an even higher toy chest. Not so thrilled about this one given that her “crash zone” is typically littered with toys to injure herself upon should she stumble or be tackled…
- Has eight teeth, but I believe more will appear before the 15 month mark based on copious amounts of drool. Seriously, if it could be bottled, I’d have enough to water my lawn.
- Signs “thank you” – if it suits her mood.
- CG’s list of words Diva “says” (not necessarily distinguishable from babble if you aren’t her parent): hi, hello, daddy, fish, chase, boo, arf arf (her dog impression). I’m in agreement on daddy, fish, & chase and still unsure on the others.
- Wraps her arms around you in a full fledged hug and snuggles against you. This is my favorite “new” skill and one that will hopefully remain during her teen years.
- Is an expert in playing peekaboo and will do it with anyone willing to play. Her favorite location for playing: inside the kangaroo climber.
- Asserts eating independence by snatching the spoon away. This has created some massive messes as the spoon is then employed as a drumming instrument on all surfaces, included her head/hair.
- Utilizes the Five Steps of Eating Food the Messiest Way Possible. To my utter chagrin.
- Now can communicate what she wants by pointing and grunting very effectively. A definite channeling of inner cave woman.
- Despises being left downstairs whenever anyone goes up without her.
- Has no issues or fears of going down or up the stairs – just skilled enough to terrify me and require constant vigilance for the 1% of the time she has to be caught.
- Her two favorite positions to play or read books in: plopped in your lap as she leans against you, and perching on top of the picnic table (aka Queen Diva’s Throne). Only an issue when her brother wishes to fight for dominance. Also the reason we now have foam squares underneath the table…
- Her walking has now progressed to running at a Speed No One with Legs That Short She Be Able to Achieve.
- She is equally fascinated and terrified of dogs. She will approach dogs and stop about five feet away. Inevitably the owner will approach – seeing Diva’s obvious interest – and then she will burst into tears. This fear began after hearing loud barking at close range and did not exist last May when she loved my sister’s dog Reba – who did not bark.
- Finally, as long as she isn’t in Screaming Banshee Mode, she grins, smiles, and waves to everyone she meets – a Queen Diva bestowing love upon her attentive subjects.
While I wish the Black Hole days to disappear forever – or at least the causes behind it – I really wish a slow motion or pause button existed to slow the accelerated growth pattern my children are following.
I don’t want a teenager just yet. Maybe in twenty years, but not in ten.