The males of this world – who still persist in peeing while standing (particularly in their own homes) when no valid reason exists to do so: because after potty training a boy, I now know it is possible to perform this action while sitting.
I spent nine months potty training The Tackler. NINE months.
I could have procreated and given birth again in that time – which was odd as I distinctly recalled the Tackler’s pregnancy appeared to last about three years – it was never going to end.
For nine months I watched as my son mastered the art of Sitting Down While Pointing Down, a skill attained early – it was the excrement skills that took nine months to grasp.
So imagine the thrill that surged through me when I learned that someone demonstrated that this already mastered skill could be executed while standing up.
And by thrill, I mean, “What the frakking frak were you thinking?”
Because currently, The Tackler is about an inch too short to really aim it into the giant toilets we have. So he uses a stool.
The stool puts him about eight inches too high for Optimal Aiming Height.
Which means my main bathroom often reeks like a men’s restroom.
And it’s driving me frakking crazy.
Why can’t the guys take the extra 1.2 seconds to SIT DOWN and POINT DOWN to reduce the spray factor to almost nothing? Especially in their own homes.
Think of how many women it would save from falling into the toilet because they woke up to use it in the middle of the night, in the dark, and someone forgot to put the lid down.
It’s not like you run the risk of poison ivy in the privacy of your own bathroom.
Seriously, what the frak?