Testing the Terrible Three and a Halves

The last week has been……. interesting.

And by “interesting” I mean “What demonic spirit has possessed The Tackler and what do I have to do to exorcise it?”

The Dark Side of his Superpower has reemerged yet again.

Stronger and more powerful than before.

He will not listen.  Or rather, he will listen, completely disregard what was said, and then precede to execute the action that he was just told not to do.

He has had bouts of with it in the past, but it was mainly restricted to either knocking over Lil’ Diva, or swim lessons before we discovered Miss Beth.

Currently, this Superpower is running rampant for just about anything.

Tipping over the Kangeroo Climbing? Check.

Tossing various objects at the chandelier light in the play room? Check.

Getting into the cupboards and grabbing items in “time out?” Heck yes.

Refusing to go to the potty before his bladder is ready to burst? Most definitely.

Covert and overt attacks on his sister? Sometimes he won’t even try to hide them anymore.

And the list goes on. And on. And on.

The biggest change has been toward CG.  In the past, The Tackler has been so thrilled to bask in Daddy’s attention, he was fairly well behaved. But now, if he has to share the attention of CG with Lil’ Diva, it punches the “activate” button for the Selective Hearing Superpower and slides the setting of Pushing Daddy’s Buttons into “overload.”

Such a scenario occurred last Saturday (while I was away keeping a very sick Bobbi company) which resulted in the majority of The Favorite Toys being taken away.

I lost count of how many annoyed phone calls CG sent my way.

We don’t have texting enabled on our phones, so when he’s annoyed, he treats his phone calls as texts: he says something cryptic, then hangs up before I ask for clarification.

They are meant to make me come home, but in reality, they just piss me off and cause me to stay away longer.

But that’s a story for another day.

The only calls that informed me of The Tackler In Full Button Pushing Mode were:

“I put him to bed in his room so I didn’t kill him.” Click.

“Every minute you’re not home is a minute your son is screaming.” Click.

I love CG… Really I do.  But once he’s snapped, the communication towers go rapidly downhill (yes honey, they do).

By the time I arrived home – less than fifteen minutes after the “son is screaming” call – both children were asleep.  And many toys were missing.

He was well behaved at the Halloween parties, but not much else..

I’m not sure if it was all of the Halloween activities last week, candy, or just time for him to test us to death, but this Dark Side power needs a light saber taken to it.  Quickly.

Sometimes I can distract him and get him to comply.  If I’m lucky.  Or if I’m not simultaneously dealing with a squalling Banshee.

For now, the biggest and most effective threat is the removal of a piece of candy every time he doesn’t listen.  Unlike toys, it is Lost Forever because we will eat it.

A tasty, but not so kind to the waistline solution.

However, this tool will only last as long as the candy.  And we don’t have that much candy, even after three Halloween events.

One of the trickier issues is: how to punish The Tackler, without punishing Lil’ Diva?  Because if you take away his toys, he moves on to her stuff.

I’m open to suggestions.

Time to eat a Snickers I “earned.”

About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos (www.writingwithchaos.com) sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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7 Responses to Testing the Terrible Three and a Halves

  1. Vicky says:

    Oh, I remember this phase. It WILL pass, truly, but until then, the things that worked for me are: being outside with him as much as possible – all the space helps; or try picking Lil Diva up and going to another room, ignoring him unless he acts/speaks nicely. Reward yourself each day (it doesn’t have to be candy every time!). Post all his misdemeanours on your blog because it helps you and everyone else who has a small boy. Keep smiling, they really do grow out of it and it’s all good practise for the next phase…

    • Kelly K says:

      Vicky – You swear they grow out of it? And that this is “just a phase” and not a testament that I’m a horrible mother?

      Outside does help a lot, but we’re currently at the interesting phase where Lil Diva will try to eat whatever she picks up off the ground about 30% of the time, which means I must watch her with extreme vigilance. This makes it hard to keep an eye on The Tackler… but I’m working out, especially now that cooler weather has hit Texas. It’s hard to do outside when it’s 100 degrees Fahrenheit.

      Part of the reason I write is so that 1) I hear from others it is normal to have a child whose ears don’t work and 2) so others learn their children aren’t the only ones.

      Thank you for the words of encouragement. 🙂

  2. Ironic Mom says:

    You’re following the cardinal rule of authority: always give consequences that you can (and will) follow through with. Personally, I just steal their candy….and call it a community service. But, like Vicky says, it will pass. Hang in there!

    • Kelly K says:

      This is The Tackler’s first experience with candy. I did the community service for the previous years. He doesn’t have such outrageous amounts that I feel the need to pilfer, but for his punishment I did take my favorite kinds first… 🙂

      Thank you for reaffirming it will pass…. Any estimate on when??? 🙂

      Thanks for reading and commenting!

  3. I don’t know if I believe all this K. I mean, he looks like such a sweet little thing in the pic…;)

    Hope Bobbi is ok now…

    (Dave was the only one with the stomach flu so far, and still trying to get over it, but in the past it has been a 1 wk incubation. So, I am bracing myself for it…) I’m such a germ-o-phobe. So, I’ve been ok, so far, just haven’t had the computer on much, if any…ttl

    • Kelly K says:

      Stomach flu is evil. I’ve been “blessed” so far in that I am apparently immune to most variations (knock on wood), so I am left cleaning up and caring for everyone else when it hits. Here’s hoping your DH is only one to suffer…

      Bobs has antibiotics for her now diagnosed sinus infection, ear infection, and bronchitis in early stages of pneumonia (after avoiding the doctor for weeks). She’s informed me that as of this afternoon, she can now “taste” again, so finally improving.

      As you should know with the twincesses, looks can be very very deceiving. 🙂 The angelic look is sure cause for alarm…

  4. Pingback: A Tale of Two Spooktaculars | Dances with Chaos

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