Friday’s “What the frack…?” Moment: Pajamas And Bedtime

Friday’s “What the frack…?” moment (WTFM) is brought to you by………..

Pajamas: Because nothing says “I was sleepy until I pissed off my child by putting you on them” like pajamas.

I understand the ideas behind wearing pajamas:

  1. They are supposed to be comfortable, because day clothes are not designed for this trait – they are supposed to make you look good (to varying degrees of success) or at the very least, interesting. When one accidentally (or purposefully) falls asleep in day clothes, you are almost guaranteed to wake up with an imprint of some sort, branded into your skin by the button on your jeans.  Sweatpants – while often worn in public – don’t count as day clothes, as they technically fall into the “workout clothes” category. Thus, the need for pajamas.  Or clean sweatpants.  Unless you live in Texas and it’s too damn hot to wear sweatpants 360 nights of the year.
  2. They are supposed to be flame retardant. Because one is only likely to  spontaneously combust while sleeping.
  3. They are supposed to be clean and thus, keep our sheets clean so we don’t have to wash them every day.  Seriously, who has time for that? Our daily clothes get dirty: food, pollen, baby drool, smoke, snotty kids, pet hair – you name it.   We don’t want to take that crap to bed with us. Pajamas (and a shower if we’re lucky) are supposed to fix that problem.

Because of Reason #3, we don’t typically put on pajamas until ready for bed.  Otherwise, it sort of negates that entire benefit – especially for my one year old who is likely to somehow spit up, drool, or have a leaky diaper if you dare to let her play in her pajamas. Or if you hold her while wearing yours.

So imagine it’s bedtime.  You have a little girl with droopy eyes, heavy head, just waiting to pass out on your shoulder.

Time for the pajamas.

However, the simple act of taking off clothing – which goes okay – then daring to replace them with evil pajamas, transforms the I-Was-Almost-Asleep-Lil-Diva into a What-the-frack-do-you-think-you’re-doing-I-don’t-want-to-wear-pajamas-or-have-my-diaper-changed-You-should-have-just-left-me-alone-because-now-I’m-going-to-scream-and-fight-going-to-bed-with-every-fiber-of-my-being-so-I’ll-be-up-another-hour-at-least-until-these-pajamas-are-so-soaked-with-drool-and-snot-from-my-crying-runny-nose-that-you’ll-have-to-change-me-again-and-repeat-the-process-Lil-Diva.

It's bedtime... please go to sleep... Please?

It’s rather like watching Linda Blair in The Exorcist.

It isn’t pretty.

Even when I change into my pajamas the lethargy that was so strong I could barely separate my butt from imprint it formed on the couch instantly vanishes.  I’m left lying awake in bed, wondering why the frack I’m no longer tired and can’t fall asleep.

It seems to me, pajamas should make you sleepier, not sleepless.

Seriously, what the frack pajamas?!

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About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos (www.writingwithchaos.com) sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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13 Responses to Friday’s “What the frack…?” Moment: Pajamas And Bedtime

  1. mc6pack says:

    It’s always a crapshoot with pajamas. Hellcat wants no more part of them. Dad sleeps in his underwear so she does, too. Slim and PM might keep their pjs on until morning, but most days they won’t. Tax Credit #4 is our only solid pajama wearer.

    The flame retardant thing cracks me up.

    Good stuff, Kelly.

    • Kelly K says:

      Lil Diva is still at that age (unfortunately) where she needs to wear pajamas because the simple act of “using a blanket” is inconceivable. And a cold baby, is an awake one. And that is what we wish to avoid at all costs.

      Damned if you do… damned if you don’t…

      You must keep your house a lot warmer than I do… 🙂

  2. Great post and so true. If it’s not a night for a bath then our little one sleeps in whatever she is wearing. It’s not worth the trouble of changing her clothes and getting her all out of sorts…

    • Kelly K says:

      We used to just use a sleep sack for my son when he was younger and those were so easy to put on over the clothes, it made bedtimes easy.

      My daughter despises these things. The issue we have is temperature. In Texas, you have huge duct work with vents in the ceiling, because you cool more than you heat. This means when the air is blowing, it’s chilly. When it’s not, it’s about right. As she is in the phase of “I will not keep a blanket on” it makes it neigh impossible to keep her warm at night if she’s not in pajamas.

      If we put her in it too early, it gets soaked from the copious amounts of drool thanks to teething.

      I’m hoping she’ll grow out of the putting on pajamas = exorcist phase soon. My son doesn’t mind them. I figure that will last until he learns to wake up to pee, and then he starts sleeping half naked. :p

      Oh the joys.

  3. Average Girl says:

    I’m so tired some nights, I could sleep in a corset and skinny jeans. And, that’s just what I do…fun post!

    • Kelly K says:

      Even during my most severely sleep deprived days (when I had a newborn) I would never have been able to sleep in a corset or skinny jeans.. Not that I could wear either of those after delivering a baby thanks to my retaining more water than a swimming pool…

      Thanks for checking out my blog! I love yours. It’s like a window into my future. 🙂

  4. I say you just revolt against PJs. Clearly Lil Diva has. Put her to bed in her clothes. I think if you look at the options, wanting to wear clothes to bed is better than wanting to wear pyjamas all day 🙂 Good luck!

    • Kelly K says:

      As her clothes are currently dresses, it leaves the whole “legs and feet are bare with the cold A/C blowing on them but she won’t stay under a blanket” issue.

      When she’s old enough to actually cover herself if she’s cold, then I won’t mind skipping PJs.

      True about the PJs all day.. Although I admit sometimes it is hours before she’s dressed. In warm weather (7 months of the year) she gets Diaper Only time for several hours in the morning. This aids greatly reducing laundry, as she is likely to either spit up on or completely soak with drool one outfit in that time…

      I don’t think that will stop her revolt, however… 🙂

  5. I’ve been trying to get pj’s on the kids earlier in the evening (after dinner) so they remain sleepy during those crucial minutes between reading a book and tucking in. My smart idea has really just meant that at least one of the three need to change into a second set of pj’s right before bed. Craziness. I, however, can’t change out of my work clothes quickly enough.

    I’m for any solution that cuts down on laundry.
    Amy

    • Kelly K says:

      Yup.. That’s my same issue with early PJs….

      It is like they are cursed…. Doomed to be dirtied before bedtime takes place.
      Like when you leave the house without a fully stocked diaper bag – whatever is missing is what you will need.

      So I stick to the one what means less laundry, even if we have to battle it out.

      Back In The Days When I Had a PAYING Job, I would shed the work clothes during the first 5 minutes of being home….

      Thanks for reading, Amy!

  6. marinasleeps says:

    I have this thing where the kids NEED to be in their pj’s to go to bed. Its a disorder I know. I will try and try but sometimes they win and they sleep in whatever they are wearing. I know I know … slap my hand!

    • Kelly K says:

      The only time I think they have slept in what they were wearing was on a road trip or other Very Atypical Event where they passed out early and leaving them in clothes was better than the alternative of waking them up…

      I’m pretty anal about PJs only at bedtime too. Perhaps there’s a support group for us…

      Thanks for commenting and reading!

  7. Pingback: Madwoman for the Day and Special Announcement | Dances with Chaos

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