Proof That the English Language Makes No Sense

My 3.5 year old brought up a very valid point regarding the English language.

It makes no sense.

The Mee-dee-est person .

Case in point.

The Tackler pointed at Lil’ Diva. “Baby sister is the littlest.” Then at himself. “I’m the mediest. Then at me.  “You’re the tallest.”

I took a moment to be thankful he didn’t say “biggest.”

“You have the ranking correct, but mediest isn’t a word. It’s medium.”

The Tackler shook his head vehemently. “No!  She’s the smallest.  I’m the mediest.  Mommy is the tallest.”

“You’re right sweetie, but mediest really isn’t a word.  The word you want to say is medium.”

“Medimest?”

“No, Meee-dee-um.”

“Mediumest?”

“No, just mee-dee-um.”

“Baby sister is the smallest.  I am meedeeum? And Mommy is the tallest.”

“That’s right.”

And as those words came out of my mouth, I realized how to him, this conversation had to make about as much sense as saying, “You should always drink milk, but not on Thursdays. Because hundreds of years ago, someone decided that was the rule and we don’t want to mess with what we were taught, so no one has changed the rule yet.”

I can just imagine his response to that.

“That’s dumb, Mommy.  Smallest. Mediumest. Tallest.”

It makes you wonder why there isn’t a mediumest.

Because if a 3.5 year old can find the logic in it, what exactly were they smoking back then to decide against it?

Did they think, “Nah man.  Medium totally can’t use the “est.” That would make actual sense.  We have to keep things interesting.  I’ve been thinking about the word “gooses” too.. What if we made the plural “geese.” That would totally mess with their heads….”

Yup. Totally.

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About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos (www.writingwithchaos.com) sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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7 Responses to Proof That the English Language Makes No Sense

  1. marinasleeps says:

    Touche
    My hubby and I fight over the word taste. I say tastes and he goes bersek … “There is no tastes in the English lanuguage!” Sounds right to me!

  2. Kelly K says:

    You forget how completely messed up the rules of English are until you are either:
    1) taking a foreign language or
    2) have a toddler who in the constant acquisition of words, makes many errors as they apply the standard to new ones, only to find out those are one of the many exceptions to the rule.

    How can “tastes” not be a word? “That tastes like chicken.” Sounds right to me.

    Of course, I had to correct my 7th grade English teacher (hired to coach the 7th & 8th graders in American football) on most rules because it was his first year teaching. Perhaps that was the year we were supposed to learn about the “tastes” rule.

  3. vickygorry says:

    Really enjoying your blog… as a mum of 3 it all just makes sense to me. Thanks for confirming it’s not just me and my family!

    • Kelly K says:

      Vicky – I’m so glad you’re enjoying my blog! Comments are always appreciated.

      I think many of us feel the same way. I hope your brood of three is doing well!

  4. Sara says:

    I find if you say ANY word in the english language three times in a row it starts to sound weird. My favorite word to do this with is the word “the” I mean hunh? A 3 letter word with 2 pronunciations: the or thee and is used all the time. how do you explain what ‘the’ means? great post.

  5. I would like to dust off my old high school Spanish and maybe learn French. I keep telling myself if I can master this zany language of ours, those that follow the rules should be a piece of cake.

    I was so confused by Marina’s DH’s assertion about the word tastes, I googled it. Totally a word: http://www.the-conjugation.com/english/verb/taste.php

    I’d be interested to know how he would conjugate “to taste” in the third person. There is no way around “tastes.”

  6. Leigh Ann says:

    Ha ha this is so true. I have been caught dumbfounded a few times when I decode something the girls say. I usually opt to let them keep their way of saying it, but I make sure I say it correctly. They eventually pick it up. But it’s so funny. 🙂

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