Gay, Straight, or Alien – Be Yourself

I typically stay in the Mommy Blog realm, but today is National Coming Out Day, and I feel that something should be said on this topic (albeit briefly because one yr old only took a 25 minute power nap and is a wee bit cranky).

Few things piss me off as much as telling someone they are less than a full human, or that there is something “wrong” with them, just because they happen to be attracted to someone of the same sex.

Even more so, when parents don’t accept THEIR OWN CHILDREN for simply being who they are.  Sure it might affect the number of grand kids you have someday, but other than that, how could you possibly not accept your child or love your child just because they happen to be gay?  Serial killer, I could understand… But gay?  You should just want your child to find someone to love who loves them in return.  You should want them to be happy.

I grew up knowing my mother would love me no matter what.  I am certain to this day, that if I told her I was gay, I would receive nothing more than a hug in response.   If I had said this prior to producing grandchildren, I am certain several questions of possible IVF or adoption would also have also been added to the hug.  But no matter what, she would still love me and accept me.

I love my children dearly, and short of them doing harm to others, I know that I will always love them and forgive them and accept them no matter who they turn out to be.

Shouldn’t we all do the same?

I hate that fact that the state of Texas – where I currently reside – is so fearful of gays that a proposition was passed preemptively to say that marriage can only occur “between a man and a woman.”

That is a load of steaming cow dung.

I hate that a gay friend of mine – who would be a wonderful father – is afraid to adopt because Texas might pass a law someday that could take away that child.

Nothing made me prouder of my old state of Iowa then when the courts did something right, “On April 3, 2009, the Iowa Supreme Court unanimously upheld the District Court’s ruling holding that there was no important governmental interest in denying citizens marriage licenses based on their sexual orientation.” (taken from wikipedia)

Wow.  A ruling that makes sense.

But I think this quote, which I hadn’t heard until today, says it best.

“I’m a supporter of gay rights.  And not a closet supporter either. From the time I was a kid, I have never been able to understand attacks upon the gay community. There are so many qualities that make up a human being… by the time I get through with all the things that I really admire about people, what they do with their private parts is probably so low on the list that it is irrelevant.” –Paul Newman

To my friends and family who are gay: I love you whether you are gay, straight, or alien.

And now, I must step off this soapbox and change a dirty diaper.

Amendment on 11-4-10: Sadly, I am now annoyed and pissed off at Iowa.  The three IA Supreme Court Judges who ruled that gay marriage was not illegal have now lost their positions in the re-election.  This is wrong on so many levels, I might have to have another rant.

I wish I could have voted there.  My vote does nothing in Texas.

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About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos (www.writingwithchaos.com) sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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17 Responses to Gay, Straight, or Alien – Be Yourself

  1. Kerry says:

    Nicely said.

    I liked that quote, too, when I saw it. I’m glad someone else saw something in it, too.

    • Kelly K says:

      It was your status with that quote that inspired me to go on a rant. 🙂 It just perfectly sums up the amount of importance someone’s sexual preference should have in how you view and treat them.

      Unless you’re dating them. Then it’s good to know.

  2. Gave me chills. Powerful voice and I’m glad to have heard it.

    You go girl! 🙂

    S

    • Kelly K says:

      I couldn’t believe how quickly this rant “flowed” from my fingers. Less than 30 minutes with a cranky 1 year old.

      Perhaps I should rant more often… It would certainly make the writing process faster.

      Thanks!

  3. Kim says:

    Word. Love you Lady Mac

  4. mc6pack says:

    Well put, Kelly. And great quote.

    • Kelly K says:

      Chase – That quote inspired me. It completely summed up how I feel, and why I don’t understand people who hate or take away rights of others (like marriage) because they are gay.

      Thanks for reading.

  5. Kristina says:

    I once taught with a woman who stated one day at lunch that she would disown any child of her’s that “chose to be gay”. I lost any small shred of respect I may have had for her then. What kind of parent does that?

    Her defense was based on her belief in Jesus Christ and the Bible. So I asked her this: how many times does Jesus talk about sex in the entire NT? Never. Not once.

    And the sad thing? 2 of her sons are gay.

    • Kelly K says:

      Kristina – Please tell me she came to her senses…. It is stories precisely like that I do not understand. My children are my children. I simply do not comprehend how sexual orientation could cause someone to treat anyone as a lesser being, much less their own children. And to disown them?

      It makes me wish that was a criteria for declaring a parent unfit.

      I’m not sure what she was a teacher of, but I hope it wasn’t to impressionable young kids. Or if it was, she at least kept her mouth shut.

      Because kids are raised to believe that teachers Know the Answers. That gives them power.

      And yet another reason why I might have issues with the public schools in the state of Texas.

      But that’s another rant altogether.

  6. Gaddy Daddy says:

    What a great post and quote! Also, these days telling your parents your gay does not necessarily mean they will have less grandchildren.

    • Kelly K says:

      I am glad for that, although the gay daddies have the pricier and trickier part of that equation, at least for biological children.

      I’m not sure what you did, but in Texas, they say true surrogacy (versus gestational carrier) is not legally protected, so the place I went to for infertility will not perform anything dealing with that. You’d have to have a gestational carrier only.

      As opposed to lesbians that have two possible wombs to choose from and a sperm bank to provide their missing link.

      I’m so glad you found the perfect person to help you out because more than anything, I feel that children should have someone who truly loves them. And if you’re gay, well there is no such thing as an accidental pregnancy. Not that those can’t be loved too, but there is never a case of “whoops.”

      I wish Texas and other states would pull their heads out of their butts in the cases of adoption, and just look for a stable loving home, regardless of race, ethnicity, and sexual orientation.

      Thanks for reading!

  7. Toujours Pur says:

    This is a great post. Parents who can’t accept their child’s sexuality, in my opinion, shouldn’t be able to have them, people like that make me sick. Nicely put, you should rant more it’s good for the soul.

  8. Mrslala says:

    What a great post! You said it exactly. I grew up much the same as you, my mom’s best friend was gay (and, sadly, died of AIDS in the early 90’s). I grew up being taught that it was apples or oranges: some people like men, some people like women, some people like both, it’s a spectrum. The end.

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