A Frackity Frack Frack Moment

It was the zero hour. Mimi’s flight was due to land in 20 minutes. Add on time to grab her luggage and we had to be there in 35 minutes.

Precisely the amount of time I’d allotted.

The Tackler visited the potty and his socks and shoes were on. Diaper bag was packed.  I was just about to put Lil Diva in her car seat when I had one of those moments.

Oh frackity frack frack.

Like a movie high on speed, the morning’s events replayed in my mind.

In about 10 seconds.

8:10 AM – Dragged self out of bed to greet stinky Banshee after only five hours of sleep. Partially my fault as I was up late blogging (my brain wouldn’t shut off, there was little point in attempting it), partially The Cough’s fault as I hacked up a lung and pancreas with my Sounds-Like-Smokes-Three-Packs-A-Day cough.

No, I don’t smoke. Never even had a tiny puff test. My eyes water horribly if I approach anyone who has lit up within the last 30 minutes like someone watching Beaches while whatever pollen they are most allergic to rains down upon them.  I get this cough about every year and half (less often since I moved away from Iowa) and it lingers and wreaks havoc on my throat. And sleep.

8:21 AM – Attempt to feed Tackler an Eggo, pour milk, make Poptart for myself all while carrying Lil Diva around as every time she’s set down she goes into Pissed Off Banshee Mode.

8:30 AM – Finished nursing Birthday Baby Banshee.  She is now officially ONE YEAR OLD (I’ll blog about that later). Take a few seconds to marvel over how different this was from a year ago.

8:48 AM – Still trying to detach the Banshee while I cleared out more stuff from guest room. Reminded CG again to move the crib out so Mimi would have some room to actually move around.

8:53 AM – Muttered edited cursing and grumbling spewed from CG as he realized the crib would not roll out the door into our son’s bedroom.

“Well, duh. It’s a crib. Not a pack ‘n play, honey. Why do you think I asked YOU to move it. If it was rollable, I would’ve moved the darn thing.”

More grumbling and muttering from CG as he went off to search for tools.

9:26 AM – Crib is in final stages of reassembly in The Tackler’s room as (other than the garage) there isn’t anywhere safe to store the crib in pieces. Cursed lack of basement in Texas again (they don’t exist here). The Tackler is over excited and hyper that Mimi is flying in on a plane. Grandma G (who walked by to drop off Lil Diva’s gift) is trying to keep her distracted enough that she doesn’t eat the screws her brother keeps collecting and dropping while helping CG. I quickly vacuum the guest room now that the crib is out of the way. I check to see if my mom’s flight is on time. I feed the cats that are meowing at me as if to say “HEY, YOU! Human! I’m hungry dammit! There isn’t enough food in this dish and you had best add more or I vow to barf what I do consume all over your carpet.”

9:48 AM – CG has left. I’m making sure the diaper is packed while simultaneously trying to feed Lil Diva who is in Super Cranky Mode as I fail to shovel in food fast enough. After being sick the last week, her appetite has returned tenfold. I had to stop for fear of her spewing it everywhere, as she typically does.

She objected. Strenuously.

There They Go-Go-Go!

Oops.

10:03 AM – My mind goes through the previous events just as I set Lil Diva in her car seat (the infant kind that detaches from the base). And it hits me like Wile E Coyote’s anvil. The one thing I did NOT see happen.

I never saw CG put her car seat base BACK into the van after he drove her home in the car the previous night.

I opened the van door and sure enough, NO CAR SEAT BASE.

#*@*&^#@%^%&#!@&

I quickly look out my window to see if my neighbor’s van is there, as she had a car seat I could borrow.

She wasn’t home.

So I called CG’s cell. No answer.

I called CG’s desk. No answer.

I instant messaged CG. No response.

Finally, about 54 seconds after I began doing those things, he called me.

“What?”

“You forgot to take out the car seat base.”

Oh, I did.”

“I can’t leave without it. You could pick up my mom but that would unleash the Fury of The Tackler and we don’t need that. So you need to come home. NOW.”

I could hear the silent frustration on his end, especially after getting to work late. But I had zero options as I was not going to ask my poor mother to take a ridiculously priced cab to my house.

Besides, that would still unleash the Fury of The Tackler.  Because he LOVES going to the airport to pick up people. And he’d been bouncing off the beds in excitement all morning in anticipation.

Twenty minutes later the car seat was here and installed.  I was three whole blocks from my house when my mother called.

“I’ve landed. I’m here!”

“Uh yeah. I’m not even on the highway yet. CG kidnapped the car seat base and I didn’t realize it until it was time to leave.  Get your luggage and I’ll call you when I’m close so you don’t melt waiting outside.”

A moment of silence. “Ok. See you soon.”

Luckily I made excellent time and soon, the Mimi was bathed in excited squeals from her grandson and “who are you?” looks from a Just Woke Up Lil Diva. It happened 20 minutes later than I planned. Not a big deal in the scheme of things, really. It just upset my scheduled gym visit to have my fit assessment done today (dammit). And delayed my shower a bit.

After inhaling some lunch, much fun chaotic craziness was had jumping on/off the beds, crashing trains, Lil Diva going Godzilla on the train tracks, building giant towers, and knocking them down.

And The Tackler shoving his sister out of the way saying “NO MA’AM!” as she repeatedly wanted to play with whatever he had.

We recorded it all on her new iPhone 4 which is The Tackler’s new favorite electronic device, as Mimi basked in the glow of the grand kids and they beamed from the attention she lavished upon them.

Which wore everyone out.

The Tackler, after some impressive fake snoring, finally quieted.

Li lDiva, who got one on one Mimi time playing peek-a-boo and tackle while I grabbed my shower, passed out after nursing.

And Mimi, who had even less sleep than I did last night due to traveling, is on my couch.

Snoring in a way that only my dad or G-pa could top.

We missed you, Mimi.

So I’m curious…

To whomever reads this blog (yes, I know you do G-ma!):

What was your most recent frackity frack frack moment? or biggest one?

**This blog inspired by the events today and an email conversation with Bumbling Introvert.

I use the 2010 template btw, because it is so tweakable to what I want. I can’t alter my white background the text is on, but headers and background are super easy to edit. My blogger ones never worked right.
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About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos (www.writingwithchaos.com) sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
This entry was posted in Family, Lil Diva, sleep deprivation, The Tackler and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to A Frackity Frack Frack Moment

  1. Lori Dyan says:

    Ha – I love it! The silver lining is that you were able to find the time the write this all down and share it with those of us who can soooo feel your pain!

    I’ve subscribed to your blog and look forward to reading more!

    Lori

    • Kelly K says:

      Lori – Thank you so much! I love to hear feedback on my writing as I am trying to better my rusty skills while in the act of preserving those lovely (and not-so-lovely) moments than I’m certain to forget otherwise (and questing to write the longest sentence possible, evidently). If I’m lucky, I might even get paid someday and then the hubby will stop berating me for staying up too late blogging.

      Maybe.

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