“Haha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders!”

iOCAINE

He forgot the third blunder…

I am ashamed.  I did it. I didn’t mean to do it.

I even blogged about it here.

But I still fell victim to one of the classic blunders.

I’ll give you a hint.

It wasn’t about the land war in Asia.

OR going against a Sicilian with death on the line.

It was the third, and even lesser well known one, which I’m certain Vizzini was about to enlighten us on before he keeled over.

“When children are too quiet, NEVER sit down and write an email or take two minutes to yourself.  Because 90% of the time, they are doing Something New. And this Something New is new because it is also Something Forbidden.”

Unbeknown to me, but quickly discovered by The Banshee, The Terrible Tackler left the door open to the bathroom before his nap.

The Banshee, happier than she’s been in days (thanks to Virus Unknown), did not see fit to inform me of this oversight.

Instead she stayed sneakily quiet and lured me into a false sense of security.  She convinced me I could quickly check my email.

And did this —>

To a Brand New roll of toilet paper (why does this always happen to the “NEW! Now Five Times Larger” rolls?)…

Not pictured: the rest of the roll inside the bathroom that never made it out into the hallway. She had also strewn it about more like a haphazard TP job (if the Tee-peeing people were only 2.5 feet tall), before I arrived on the scene and shoved it into a more manageable pile.  I would have a better photo if Lil Diva hadn’t been on my arm attempting to reunite herself with her work of art.  Most emphatically, I might add.

At least she didn’t eat it.

This time.

*** If this post confused you, you have obviously never witnessed the greatness that is The Princess Bride or seen what damage a child under one year can do in 2 minutes.  Rent the movie if you haven’t watched it.  Watch it again if you have. 🙂

As for the toddler part, if you really wish to see what they can do, offer to babysit one. Or adopt/pet-sit a puppy.

Both like to eat shoes.

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About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos (www.writingwithchaos.com) sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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7 Responses to “Haha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders!”

  1. bronxboy55 says:

    I don’t mean to sound discouraging, but just wait until they’re teenagers. Then you’ll really be climbing the Cliffs of Insanity. (On the bright side, they do eventually stop playing with toilet paper.) There’s only one thing that will get you through: true love!

    • Kelly K says:

      Bronxboy – I already have days where I’m climbing the Cliffs of Insanity, and hold no illusions that this will be ongoing throughput The Tween & Teen Years. I will simply be navigating a different path. Hopefully with a rope.

      I just hope no one will be waiting at the top to kill me with their left (or right) hand.

      Are you sure they won’t play with toilet paper as teens? Because there’s this event called “Homecoming” in high school that often involves toilet paper, albeit in some else’s yard….

      My wedding ring has an inscription inside: “As you wish.” And while he sometimes drives me up a cliff, my hubby is my true love. Because how can you not love a guy that thinks of the perfect inscription in less than 10 characters from one of the best movies ever? 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and reading!

  2. bronxboy55 says:

    Actually, our sixteen-year-old son mentioned the toilet paper thing just this afternoon, as we were trying to identify the culprit who egged our house two weeks ago. I’ve never understood what the big deal is about throwing toilet paper at a house, but then I never understood what was so terrible about eggs, either. (I do now.)

    You may already know this, but you can go to the Cliffs of Insanity — the Cliffs of Moher, in Ireland. My wife and I spent part of the summer trying to plan a Princess Bride vacation, complete with a visit to Haddon Hall in England, and other locations. We’ve learned, though, that places in films often don’t really exist, at least not the way they appear in the movies.

    Anyway, keep up the great work. And have fun storming the castle.

    • Kelly K says:

      I am sure the Cliffs of Insanity had a little help from movie magic in becoming so… insane. 🙂 The only place a movie(s) has ever truly made me want to visit was New Zealand thanks to the incredible scenery in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

      And to make it to Ireland (or New Zealand) from Texas at this point in my life… It would take a miracle. 🙂

  3. Lydia says:

    Yay! Princess Bride! Ok I’m back(I get easily distracted and I was basking in the glow of the the happy time that movie puts me in.) Back to toliet paper rolls- I’ve so had that happen before because you know I have two little girls and an overly curious cat. Hate when I’m taking a minute to do something like check important emails(play angry birds) and I realize that the house is way too quiet. It usually means trouble.

    • Kelly K says:

      I understand the distraction – The Princess Bride is by far one of the best movies ever made. I anxiously waited for Rex the dinosaur in the Toy Story movies to shout “Inconceivable!” but alas….

      Silence almost always means trouble…. if only it weren’t so rare and enjoyable we would notice it earlier while we took a quick minute to unload the dishwasher (play angry birds)….

      Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

  4. Pingback: The Bad News Versus the Good News: What the frak happened now?? | Dances with Chaos

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