Mommy Just Wants to Have Fun

The diaper bag is packed. The shoes and socks are on. We’re ready to go have fun!

Then…

Meltdown.

Sometimes it’s because I dare to suggest using the potty before we leave. Sometimes, I took a minute too long to find my phone. Sometimes, The Tackler runs into the garage when I expressly told him not to after I discover that Lil Diva dirtied her diaper in the last two minutes. Sometimes he stands at the garage door (open of course) and Lil Diva can’t resist the lure of forbidden territory, so he shoves her over when she gets too close.

Whatever the cause, the screeching meltdown brings everything in motion to a halt.

And I’m left with the question, “What do I do now?”

If we still leave to have fun, it rewards his behavior. It shows The Tackler there aren’t consequences to his actions.

If we don’t have leave, then it punishes Lil Diva and me too. Because darn it, WE were looking forward to getting out of the house and enjoying ourselves (at least, I know Lil Diva would’ve enjoyed said location).

As a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM), I need to get out to keep my sanity intact.

I hate this dilemma.

Just last night we were going to take the kids to an indoor play place (as too humid and mosquito infested outside). I was literally one minute from going out the door.

Then The Tackler pushed his sister down.

I dared suggest (because of his mannerisms) that he try to go potty.

He screeched at me and began meltdown behavior.

As I walked over and picked up Lil Diva, who cried from being knocked down (just onto her butt this time), he hit the top of my head.

All of this happened within about 15 seconds.

And just like that, our plans changed. The Tackler had a Time Out.  Lil Diva was soothed.

He was informed there would no longer be a trip to have fun.

Which of course, made him even more upset.

Luckily Lil Diva didn’t know what she’d just missed. CG and I, however, were disappointed because we’d been looking forward to an outing with the kids.

This doesn’t happen often, and sometimes, we still have to do the event planned (due to tickets being bought, or swim lessons that can’t be made up). In those cases, we take something else away (like a favorite toy) to punish him.

Last night, in a move to keep both me and my husband from strangling a very energetic 3.5 year old, I took our son to run errands with me while our daughter stayed home with Daddy. It wasn’t a reward. But it wasn’t a punishment.

And he was an angel for me.  He listened, he stayed close. He picked out a baby doll for Lil Diva’s 1st birthday present. There wasn’t one screech of protest. Even when I informed him that no Toy Story toys would be venturing home with us. Somehow the little demon that had been active at home was exorcised. Or at least away on vacation.

Which had been my hope.

Still, discipline sucks. It’s necessary, I know.

But I want to have fun too.

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About Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

Kelly K has learned the five steps to surviving of motherhood: 1) Don't get mad. Grab your camera. 2) Take a photograph. 3) Blog about it. 4) Laugh. 5) Repeat. She shares these tales at Dances with Chaos in order to preserve what tiny amount of sanity remains. You can also find her on her sister blog, Writing with Chaos (www.writingwithchaos.com) sharing memoir and engaging in her true love: fiction writing. It's cheaper than therapy.
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One Response to Mommy Just Wants to Have Fun

  1. ppjewellery says:

    Ah the dreaded melt down behavior, I know it well, my children have been off school for the holidays, I’ve had six weeks of melt downs, tantrums, screaming fits what ever you call them, they alway amount to mummy wanting to pull her own hair out,
    aka me. In fact five minutes before I read your post , I had to stop my nine year old from throttling my four year old, because she in his words “is always there annoying me”. As a mum I feel your pain, just recently we were on holiday in spain and a couple of days were cut short because of melt downs, we’d be all ready for the afternoon of fun, and then minutes before leaving , one of them would do something naughty, and like you, I would say thats it we’re not going now, maybe tomorrow when you behave yourselves. But why is it that I feel so bad doing that and like you I also hate to miss out on the fun, I hope our children get to grips with ,the I must be good if I want fun days idea, asap for all our sakes, yours and mine. Thanks for sharing Kelly, it’s nice to know that it’s not just my children and I that go though this .

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